3 Modern “Mantras” That Will Help You Heal Unhelpful Emotional Patterns
Updated October 3, 2021
According to the contemporary Buddhist teacher Tsoknyi Rinpoche, whatever you feel in any given moment is based on an earlier imprint in your being. He explains that there are two types of imprints:
Learned patterns
Karmic residues (karmic patterns)
The number of imprints in our being is literally uncountable. Typically, it’s these patterns that run (and sometimes ruin) your life.
Tsoknyi Rinpoche brings together the world of science with ancient wisdom to illustrate how we can change deeply held emotional patterns. He says, to bring awareness to our emotional patterns, we need a roadmap, which has three elements:
Emotion, feeling, mood
Knowing, thinking, awareness
The reified “I” — meaning the sense of fixation on the self
We need to work with all three elements to free ourselves from stubborn emotional patterns.
“…no matter what emotions arise, taking emotion as the path requires skill because emotions are strongly experienced in the body’s chemistry, as well as the mind.” — Tsoknyi Rinpoche
Once of the most important keys is to welcome emotions — even the difficult ones — rather than seeing them as the enemy.
The secret to overcoming a deep-seated emotional pattern is repeatedly bringing awareness to it in a kind and gentle way. At the same time, we correct the misperceptions at its root.
Pesky emotions can include anything from a phobia to patterns of anger, sadness, anxiety, or other turbulence that repeatedly arise in our life.
Tsoknyi Rinpoche created three “modern mantras” which embody this approach. He used them himself to overcome a fear of heights that originated in his childhood and a fear of flying that emerged after a traumatic flight between two Himalayan mountain peaks in the middle of a dramatic storm.
Mantra One: “It’s Not Me”
The first step is to fully acknowledge and accept the emotional pattern. Instead of seeing it as an enemy, befriend it. Simply be aware that you have a particular fear or emotion that arises like clockwork when triggered or sometimes for no apparent reason at all.
Normally, we’re so enmeshed in an emotional pattern, when it arises we identify it as “me.” For example, “I am a sad or angry or fearful person.” Using the first mantra, gradually removes this identification with the emotion as a part of a concrete self, which Tsoknyi Rinpoche calls the “reified I”.
When a feeling arises, we usually go with it. We follow it up with a chain of reinforcing thoughts and make the experience even stronger. Now, instead, when the feeling arises, we can use the first mantra and gently say to ourselves: “It’s not me.”
It’s important to repeat the mantra with great kindness. Although your thinking mind may fully understand your message, the emotional brain doesn’t integrate it easily. It needs to really feel it and take it in. It needs to hear the new message many times.
With this modern mantra and the gentle tone, you are skillfully communicating between awareness and feeling, and between the three different parts of the brain — the neo-cortex, the limbic system (the emotional brain), and the reptilian brain.
Mantra Two: “It Is Real, But Not True”
When the distressing feeling arises, it feels real doesn’t it? For example, in the case of a phobia, you feel terrified and the sense of imminent danger feels real.
The problem is that you believe the imprint. But we actually have so many imprints that are completely off the mark. They’re no longer relevant, but they continue to rule your life. This is something you can change with the use of these new mantras.
Again, welcome the feeling with an open mind. Acknowledge that it feels real.
Then speak to it kindly introducing the correct understanding.
“Dear feeling, I know this feels real. It’s coming from an imprint that I had as a child. It feels very real, but you know it’s not really true. It feels real, but it’s not me. It’s not true”
Kindness is essential. With kindness, the emotions will slowly respond and change. Harshness or pushing yourself too hard, will only make you shut down further and create more problems.
It’s necessary to repeat these mantras more than once. In fact, it must be done many times to dissolve the imprint. It takes time to change deeply held emotions and patterns that are etched into the brain and the subtle body.
Tsoknyi Rinpoche says that we need to change the learned patterns before we can purify karmic imprints. Once you change the learned patterns, he explains, its much easier to purify the karmic imprints.
Thus, becoming a healthy human being by transforming unhelpful emotional patterns is essential to progress on the spiritual path.
Mantra Three: “Happy for No Reason!”
All the reasons and conditions we establish for being happy are unstable. They’re impermanent and thus subject to change.
Embrace the idea that happiness comes from within and remind yourself with this mantra:
“Happy for no reason!”
I have practiced the first two mantras to soften deeply embedded sadness that seemed to come up from a bottomless pit. The endless feeling itself can be disheartening.
When the sadness appeared, I would feel a contraction in my throat and then tears began to pour out. Once I learned these “mantras,” as soon as I felt the physical sensations grabbing hold in my body, I gently remind myself: “This is not me. This feels real, but it’s not true.”
That has often been sufficient to relax the physical sensations and release the emotion. This practice is not meant to suppress or deny emotions. The still rise up and you notice them. But using the mantras is a way to release the emotion instead of being overwhelmed by it and falling into a stream of sadness or pain.
Using these modern mantras has worked for me. I know they need to be repeated many times to fully dissolve a long held imprint. But I’ve felt their immediate effectiveness.
If you are troubled by repetitive emotional patterns, and who isn’t, these modern mantras may be the perfect solution for you. They can also be used as a compliment to psychotherapy, which may be needed if the emotional patterns or trauma interferes with your life.
I received these instructions directly from Tsoknyi Rinpoche. He has also talked about them in various video teachings over the years. If you would like to learn more, check out these short videos: Crossing a Bridge, Real But Not True, It’s Not Me.
Final Thoughts
Learned and karmic emotional patterns often dictate our thoughts, words, and behavior in any given situation. They can trigger us to repeat unhealthy and unhelpful patterns again and again.
But you’re not stuck with these patterns. Just like they were learned, they can be unlearned.
Tsoknyi Rinpoche suggests gently using these three “modern mantras” to help transform unhelpful emotional patters and amplify happiness in your life.
“It’s not me.”
“It is real but not true.”
“Happy for no reason!”
The next time you feel triggered, try them out. See if they work for you.
Do you take your troubling emotions as real? Have your found skillful methods for releasing them?
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