Why It's Best to Speak Less
Most conversation is pointless.
You’re probably thinking, “What? Did I read that right?”
After all, we live in a world where free speech is cherished. Many people let words roll off their tongue without a second thought. They value their own thoughts, opinions, and judgments highly. They have a right to express themselves, don’t they?
But let me explain.
Our conversations are often tainted by harsh words, meaningless chatter, attempts to sow discord (like gossip), and even lies. Take office politics, for example. It illustrates one way speech can quickly deteriorate into its worst forms.
Is there a way out of this toxic negativity?
There is. You could decide to speak less.
Try it. You’ll discover there’s an amazing power in choosing your words carefully and expressing them sparingly.
I’ve spent long periods of time in silence. So I know a little bit about speaking less. Let me share a few of the benefits I’ve experienced with you.
More Inner Peace
When you speak less, your mind feels more relaxed. It no longer needs to frantically engage in preparing your responses while simultaneously processing incoming information.
Take a moment to imagine how relaxing that might feel.
You still listen to others. But your mind feels less cluttered and more spacious because you no longer need to respond to every single statement you hear.
Baba Hara Das (Babaji), a master yogi, spiritual teacher, and founding inspiration behind the Mt. Madonna Center took a vow of silence for the better part of his life.
“In 1952, at the age of 29, Babaji took a 12-year vow of silence. At its completion, he chose to continue this austerity because it brought him peace and inner silence. He remained silent for the next 66 years until his death.”
The keywords in that quote are peace and inner silence, right?
Babaji communicated by writing on a small chalkboard, which naturally made his responses concise and well-considered. Indeed, his brief chalkboard responses became profound maxims for living your best life.
I’m not suggesting you should take a vow of silence for the rest of your life. But what if you tried silence for an hour, a day, or a weekend?
Could you do it?
What would you discover about power of speaking less for yourself?
What would you learn about yourself?
You may never take a vow of silence for even a moment. And that’s okay.
But you can increase your inner peace just by speaking less. The serenity you experience will be amplified all the more if you also make a commitment to refrain from negative speech.
“Silence is a source of great strength.” — Lao Tzu
Less Stress
The degree of toxic content contained in everyday conversations can turn on the fight, flight, or freeze stress response.
In particular, the vagus nerve picks up on cues of safety or threat and communicates with your parasympathetic “rest and digest” nervous system accordingly.
“The brain is reading and regulating your body through this nerve. The body won’t function optimally unless it picks up cues of safety.”—Dr. Stephen Porges
Agitated conversations can skyrocket your stress level. But when you speak less you can distance yourself from the brouhaha.
In the midst of the chaos, you’ll have space to speak calmly to yourself. The vagus nerve will pick up on your soothing speech, communicate safety to the parasympathetic nervous, and the relaxation response will be activated.
You could also decide to disengage from toxic conversations at the first sign. That will also allow you to speak less and preserve your sense of safety at the same time.
“When you get rid of the threat reaction, you become calm and more present. The body can then solve problems on a neurophysiological level.”—Dr. Stephen Porges
Better Karma
Karma simply means that every action has a consequence. We accumulate karma through the three doors of body, speech, and mind.
I like this simple explanation of karma from the Dalai Lama:
“The Sanskrit word ‘karma’ simply means ‘action.’ So when we talk about our karma, we are referring to all our intentional acts of body, speech, and mind, and when we talk about the ‘fruits’ of our karma, we are talking about the consequences of these acts. The doctrine of karma is grounded in the observation of causality as a law of nature.” — The Dalai Lama in Beyond Religion
Every time you repeat the same action, you strengthen the propensity to repeat it again. Thus negative actions can lead to more negative actions and more negative karma unless you intentionally interrupt the cycle.
When you speak less, you automatically accumulate less negative karma through the door of speech. You naturally avoid harmful speech like:
Harsh words
Attempts to sow discord
Lying
It pays to consciously engage in positive speech and avoid harmful speech Because your negative speech eventually boomerangs and causes you to suffer.
That’s not what you want, is it?
If you don’t believe in karma, think about the effect of speech from a compassionate perspective, instead.
It hurts when people gossip about you.
It feels painful to be betrayed by lies.
It’s distressing to be attacked with harsh words.
Why would you want to create a painful experience for anyone else?
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
Concluding Thoughts
There are many more practical benefits to speaking less.
For example, it can make you a better listener, reduce overstimulation, and give you the time carefully choose your words so you avoid misunderstandings.
But I’m highly motivated by less stress, more inner peace, and better karma. How about you? What would motivate your to use your words sparingly and judiciously?
Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Don’t forget to sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self.
You might also like to check out my Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always. With love, Sandra
