Three Promises to My Even Older Self
What kind of quality of life do I want for my older self?
This can be a useful question at any point in your life.
It can guide your life choices in your 20s and 30’s. It can influence the path you take when you reach a crossroads in your 40s or 50s. It can lead to better health, less stress, and more meaning if you ask the question in your 60s or 70s.
I’m 72. Why am I asking myself this question now?
I see older people in my world falling apart left and right—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Partly, it’s due to aging. But partly, it’s due to the consequences of bad lifestyle habits and stuck mental and emotional patterns.
My own habits haven’t been the worst. But they also haven’t been the best.
It’s time to clean up my act. I believe the conscious decisions I make today can have a positive influence on my remaining years.
As a result, I’ve made three promises to my even older self. I hope you’ll feel inspired to follow suit if you haven’t done so already.
Here are my three promises.
I promise to take better care of my health.
I tend to operate on wishful thinking. I image my future will be perfectly pleasant despite my less desirable tendencies.
But bad habits tend to catch up with people as they age. This can manifest as decreased energy, mobility issues, or depression—to name just a few possible outcomes.
If I don’t stop my bad habits now, when will I? These are changes I’m making to keep this promise to myself.
Diet
I recently entered into the pre-diabetes range. I have a genetic pre-disposition for type 2 diabetes. But I know that diet and lifestyle factors also play a role on whether or not you develop the disease.
Pre-diabetes can be turned around in most people and diabetes can be reversed in some people. I reversed pre-diabetes in my 30s so I trust I can do so again.
I don’t eat fast food and I probably eat more vegetables than the average person. But I finally decided to get real about my addiction to sweets and starchy foods. My organic choices don’t magically reduce the number of calories or impact on insulin and glucose.
So I started a low-carb diet a month ago. I’ve lost 6 pounds to date. I’ll have my pre-diabetes measures tested again in 3 months. I bet you I’ll be happy with the result.
Hydration
I’d been drinking one or two glasses of water each day. I knew I should drink more, but I didn’t feel so inclined.
That might be due to the fact that thirst diminishes with age, according to the National Council on Aging. Seniors also have less water in their bodies in comparison to younger adults. Thus, older folks are more likely to become dehydrated.
I was probably mildly dehydrated already. Then I started a low carb diet, which can bring on dehydration and the loss of electrolytes. I’d wake up in the middle of the night with signs of dryness and a headache.
I now drink three 18-ounce thermoses of water each day. That meets the amount recommended by the National Council on Aging:
“As a general rule, you should take one-third of your body weight and drink that number of ounces in fluids. For example, if you weigh 150 pounds, aim to drink 50 ounces of water each day.”
However, the Council recommends speaking to your doctor about your specific hydration needs. Certain medications flush out water and some medical conditions make people more prone to dehydration.
As a result, you may need more water than the general rule.
Exercise
This is the hard one for me. I don’t like to exercise—never have and probably never will.
I’ve done best when I’ve participated in group exercise. I did Tai Chi for three times a week for three years. I did Yoga for three months when it was offered nearby in my neighborhood.
But I didn’t keep up these good habits.
But I walk about 2,000 steps a day on average—mostly due to the fact I have to open the door to let my cats in and out at least a million times a day. On occasion, I get up to 5,000 steps.
But that’s far less than the research recommendations for my age group:
“People older than 60 show the most benefit between 6,000 and 8,000 steps.”
I don’t have an answer for this one year. It will probably be a mix of yard work and walking to start with. I also have a set of three-pounds weights that call to me now and then.
I promise to stop pushing myself.
I’m retired. Naturally, I do less now than when I worked full-time.
But I have less capacity as well. This is likely due to a mix of factors. I have a health condition called Hereditary Alpha Tryptasemia, I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and I’m aging.
Still, I tend to push myself to do more.
I can barely write 2-3 articles a week. But I dream of doing a 30-day writing challenge.
I can’t leave it at a light housecleaning. I’m compelled to get into every nook and cranny, which takes hours and depletes me.
I take obsessively detailed notes when I listen to talks on my topics of interest. I stop and rewind many times to get the precise wording. The joy of listening and learning turns into physical and mental fatigue.
I’ve improved a bit over the years. But my inner driver hasn’t fully given up her demands.
Some steps I’ll take to thwart her in a loving way:
Breaks
The ability to hyper-focus is one of my super powers. But research shows inactivity is a risk factor for a number of adverse health conditions, including:
Metabolic syndrome
Impaired fasting glucose
Type 2 diabetes
Heart disease
I don’t want to go in any of those directions, right?
To counteract, my natural pull to hyper-focus and push through while engaged in sedentary activities, I’ll integrate more breaks into my day.
According to a study at Columbia University:
“…adults who sit for one or two hours at a time without moving have a higher risk of early death than their peers who are sitting for just as long but are still getting up for even short bouts of movement.”
The study recommends getting up every 30 minutes.
In the spirit of habit stacking, connecting two or habits together for better results, I’ll drink water each time I get up.
Vacations
I haven’t taken a vacation in a very long time. I find it hard to stop for any length of time that involves successive days.
But I’m planning one for this month. It will be a stay-cation and it probably won’t be easy to refrain from my urge to produce. But whatever I can manage will be better than not vacationing at all.
Smarter Scheduling
I get easily overwhelmed and burn out when I schedule and attend several appointments in one week.
Going forward, I’ll only schedule one major appointment in a given week. If I must schedule two, I’ll aim to schedule them a day apart.
I have a long history of pushing myself. It’s the way I’ve proven my worth and gained appreciation and approval.
But now I know I’m fine as I am. It will be stretch to break this habit, but I know the time is now.
I promise to deepen spiritually.
I’m already a spiritually committed person. I meditate daily. I read, watch, and listen to spiritual inspiration. I try to be kind to others.
But as each year goes by, I realize the fragility of this life more and more. This body is more like a hotel than a permanent home. It’s only a transitory stopping point on the path of the spirit.
It’s time to identify less with this particular body and this particular mind and to connect more with my spiritual essence. I can only do that by letting go of acquiring more knowledge and cultivating more present moment awareness both in meditation and in daily life.
It’s time to identify less with this particular body and this particular mind and to connect more with my spiritual essence.
I also plan to track my negative emotional and mental reactions at least in the coming year.
A spiritual person embodies peace, love, compassion and wisdom. It’s our own habitual patterns of anger, jealousy, fear, self-doubt and so on that hold us back from acting in more compassionate and spiritual ways.
Tracking my emotional patterns will make them more conscious. It will allow me to catch myself fall into them and cause harm to myself or another person. It will help me heal the wounds that created those patterns in the first place.
Spirituality is more than transcendent experiences. It also means being a good person in everyday life.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
What kind of quality of life do you want for yourself in your later years? What promises can you make to yourself now that will lead to better outcomes when you’re older? If you’re already a golden-ager, what promises might improve your years to come?
Joining me in stepping up in honor of your even older self.
[Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels]
Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Don’t forget to sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self.
You might also like to check out my Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always. With love, Sandra
