3 Ways to Find Calm When the World Feels Out of Control
Have the recent failures of Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank (and near-misses at other banks like Credit Suisse) made you nervous?
I understand. I felt apprehensive for a few moments myself. But since I know how to diffuse the stress response, after years of self-training, I didn’t get stuck in fear, frustration, or anger.
Soon those bank failures will be old news. But given the chaotic nature of our times, no doubt a new crisis will appear soon enough.
Do you feel emotionally and mentally prepared to handle whatever troubles come next?
If not, here’s a mix of principles and practices I employ to get back to calm when turmoil strikes yet again.
1. Practice Deep Acceptance
Many of us are control freaks. We’ve bought into the “getting things done” and “you can make it happen” ethos.
But remember the old Yiddish adage, “Man plans and God laughs.” Life is unpredictable and large parts of it are out of your control.
I never expected I would live through a three-month long lava eruption, lose my marriage, or reside in paradise. I bet your own life is full of unexpected twists and turns as well—some good, some devastating.
So why do we hang on to the notion that we steer our own ship in the midst of so much unpredictably?
Of course, you need to take personal responsibility and manage your affairs to the degree you can.
You buy home insurance.
You set up an emergency fund.
You learn stress management techniques.
You do what you can and then let go.
The sooner you accept the unpredictability of life and learn to let go, the sooner you’ll be able to flow with whatever occurs next.
Letting go doesn’t mean you love the terrible things that happen. It just means you accept they’re an inevitable part of being alive. You grieve whatever losses you suffer and and move on. If you’re open, you can also gain invaluable life lessons that will help you in the future.
Isn’t that far better than getting stuck in a pool of despair?
So the first step to better navigate a shaky world is an attitude adjustment into deep acceptance.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu
2. Make Stress Relief a Habit
Life is unpredictable and you have less control than you think. But still, there are steps you can take to strengthen and prepare yourself for the stress that arises in a constantly changing and these days, intense world.
In today’s side hustle culture, stress relief may be looked upon with disdain. I get that. I thought I was invincible too. I worked twenty-four seven for a decade or more. Eventually I burned out and developed an immune system disorder.
Chronic stress can put your health at risk—an undisputed scientific fact. According to the Mayo Clinic, chronic stress puts you at greater risk for:
Anxiety
Depression
Gut problems
Headaches
Muscle pain
Heart disease, high blood pressure, heart attack, and stroke
Sleep disorders
Memory and concentration issues
Maybe it’s time to let go of the hustle mentality and start taking care of yourself. Stress-relief practices don’t have to be an ordeal. They can be fun and relaxing if you choose the ones you enjoy.
Here are two suggestions for immediate and long-term stress relief.
For Immediate Relief
Did you know there are steps you can take to immediately waylay stress whether it hits you out of the blue or slowly builds to a crescendo? I learned the following incredibly simple techniques during a Community Resilience Model training sponsored by the Trauma Resource Institute.
These Help Now! skills are designed to bring down activation in the nervous system They help you focus on something other than the distressful news or event, and activate other parts of the body and brain that can help bring you back into balance.
Give one or more a try the next time you feel stressed:
Drink a glass of water.
Open your eyes if they’re closed.
Look around and pay attention to whatever catches your eye.
Count down from twenty as you walk around the room.
Say the names of six colors that you see.
Touch the furniture where you are seated and notice its textures (hard, soft, fuzzy, rippled, etc.)
Notice the sounds around you and linger with them for a while.
Notice the temperature
Push your hands against a wall or door and feel the sensation of your muscles pushing.
Walking mindfully. Notice you feet as they make contact with the ground. Feel your arms swing and the movement of your legs.
The body is amazing. It can initiate a stress response, but it also contains many ways to diffuse it.
To Build Resilience for the Long-Term
One the other end of the spectrum, the regular practice of stress-reducing techniques can build resilience so you’re less prone to stress.
One of my favorite ways to keep my body in harmony involves holding each finger in sequence. I learned this 10-minute Jin Shin Jyutsu exercise from a friend when I was at an intense physical low.
You simply wrap the thumbs and fingers of one hand around a finger on the other hand.
Start by wrapping the thumb and end with wrapping the little finger.
Please don’t squeeze. Just hold the finger gently for one or two minutes and then move to the next.
Sometimes, you’ll feel a gentle pulse when it’s time to move on to the next finger.
According to Jin Shin Jyutsu each finger is associated with an emotion that can imbalance a different system in your body:
Worry (thumb)
Fear (index finger
Anger (middle finger)
Sadness and grief (ring finer)
Trying to or pretense (pinky finger)
Jin Shin Jyutsu is an ancient art. But its efficacy has been demonstrated in modern studies like this one published in March 2021, which found that Jin Shin Jyutsu self-help techniques reduced nurses’ stress.
This simple practice works beautifully for me. It can be used almost anywhere when you feel stress rising. Or like me, you can use it daily to keep your body and emotions in balance.
There are so many ways to reduce stress. For example, exercise, sex, and a good cry have all been found to decrease cortisol, the primary stress hormone as long as they’re done in reasonable amounts.
The key is to find stress-relief practices that you enjoy so you’ll be able to engage in them regularly. Do so, and you’ll feel more resilient when the world flies into another round of chaos.
“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” ―Sydney J. Harris
3. Community and Connection
Engaging in connection, the subjective feeling of belonging and interconnectedness, is a powerful way to reduce stress.
The human nervous system is wired for connection. Extensive research has shown that you can regulate your autonomic nervous system, which means reduce stress too, through face-to-face interactions.
There are some provisos, of course. In order to effectively co-regulate with another person or group of people, you must feel safe and connected with them.
I experienced the power of connection myself during the three-month lava eruption and its aftermath.
Community members created a resource center where people could donate food and supplies for those who had been evacuated from or lost their homes entirely. People opened their spare rooms and couches to evacuees in need of shelter. A friend started a support group to help members get through the stress and trauma together.
I lost my home and most of my possessions, but I felt held by my community.
Now I live in a new neighborhood, of course. I feel fortunate to have the best of neighbors. I can call them day or night should a personal emergency occur. They’ll get groceries for me if I get sick. And of course, I would do the same for them.
That gives me a feeling of connection and belonging.
I’m an introvert. But I see my closest friends at least once a week and FaceTime often with my sister. These moments of connection make me feel relaxed, joyful, and less stressed.
How connected do you feel?
If the answer is not enough, start building your network of connection if you want to feel less stress. Just helping a stranger when you’re out and about can help you feel more connected too.
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”—the Dalai Lama
Closing Thoughts
We live in stressful times. Pandemics, wars, and natural disasters have become our daily fare.
Some disturbances affect us more than others, but is there anyone unaffected?
We’re only human. Naturally, we’ll feel some degree of stress when turbulence is the norm. But you have a choice.
You can let all the tumult take you down—mentally, emotional, and physically. Or you can adopt attitudes and practices that build your resilience and allow you to continue to enjoy the beauty of life.
This article is partially based on an e-letter first published in Wild Arisings.
[Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels ]
Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Don’t forget to sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self.
You might also like to check out my Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always. With love, Sandra
