How to Use Moments of Quiet to Quell Holiday Stress
(Updated: December 5, 2021)
Do you remember a time when you felt stressed to the max and someone told you, “Just breathe?”
A part of you may have wanted to punch them in the face. When you’re already rattled by stress, this kind of suggestion can make it even worse. You may now feel belittled, ashamed, or out-of-control too.
As someone who’s extra sensitive to stress, I understand.
Once stress chemicals release and rapidly course through your body, it’s not so easy to tell them to go home. If stress has become a chronic affair, according to The American Institute of Stress, your may even develop a hair-trigger response.
Instead of waiting for stress to take me over, I like to use a preventative measure. A preventative practice can help you build a foundation of resilience, and retrain your body and brain to embrace more ease.
Quiet is one of my favorites.
“Sitting quietly, doing nothing,
spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.”
—Zen Proverb
5 Minutes of Quiet, 3 Times a Day
I invite you to try moments of quiet to quell stress this holiday season.
Want to give it a try? Here’s how to start.
Be quiet for five minutes, three times a day. This will gradually strengthen your relaxation response, the counterpoint to stress.
Sit comfortably with your spine straight, but not rigid. Then, be silent and sit quietly for five minutes.
To develop the habit, sit quietly at specified times. For example:
Five minutes first thing in the morning
Five minutes at lunch
Five minutes during an afternoon break
Five minutes before going to bed
Alternatively, you could practice right before times that are typically stressful during the holiday season. For example,
Before a family affair
Before an obligatory social event at work
Before shopping in crowded stores
Before getting into the car for a long commute in heavy traffic
Just pick three times and give it a go.
How Quiet Counteracts Stress
These moments of quiet can be moments of mindfulness. They allow you to gather your mind and heart back into yourself and touch into peace.
In my experience, regular moments of quiet:
Help to train your body and brain for more calm.
Allow your mind and emotions to settle.
Create a sense of spaciousness in your life, which is the opposite of tension and constriction.
Provide room for intuition and/or clarity to arise in your mind, which can bring easeful solutions.
“True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.” — William Penn
3 Common Obstacles to Quiet
Most of us aren’t used to quiet. At first, it can feel hard to be still.
Following are three common obstacles that can occur when you decide to sit quietly. Don’t let them discourage you. These initial feelings of discomfort will pass if you simply remain.
Fear. Quiet can be scary when you’re not accustomed to it. Your first impulse might be to jump up and get busy so you won’t have to be alone with yourself.
Overactive Mind. The first thing you notice in the quiet will likely be a thunderous waterfall of thoughts. The idea of peace may seem light years away. Have faith. With time and practice, your thoughts will settle down.
Restlessness. You might feel restless because your body is not used to being still. The antidote is to simply notice the restlessness. Don’t give into it immediately. See if you can sit with it.
You might find it difficult to sit still for five minutes. That wouldn’t be unusual for a beginner. If five minutes is too hard, start with one minute. Then build up to two minutes and so on.
As you develop your capacity to sit quietly by yourself, you can extend five minutes to ten, fifteen, or twenty. Experiment and discover the amount of time that works perfectly for you.
Use a Support
You can use the breath or a form as an object for your attention if you find it challenging to sit quietly with nothing to do.
Gently place your attention on the breath as it enters and leaves the body. You can observe sensations as the breath move in and out of your nose or as it inflates and deflates your chest.
Or lightly place your awareness on an object like a flower, a stone, or an inspiring sacred image. Remember, you’re not trying to pierce the image with your eyes. Keep you gaze relaxed.
The operative words are “gently” and “lightly.” Don’t over-concentrate; it might make you stressed.
Balance attention with relaxation. Ease into quiet, but stay awake and aware.
Sitting in a quiet place can help build your capacity to sit quietly. But it’s not always possible to find a quiet place. So, learn to sit wherever you are.
For example, if you’re in the middle of a busy shopping mall, you can still take five minutes to sit quietly on a bench. That would be better than pushing yourself to keep shopping no matter how stressed you feel.
By learning to sit quietly, you’re finding and connecting to the calm place within. Gradually, you’ll be less disturbed by external activity and will be able to sit almost anywhere.
“Through the portals of silence, the healing sun of wisdom and peace will shine upon you.”—Paramahansa Yogananda
Closing Thoughts
A regular practice of sitting quietly will make it harder for stress to take hold.
Once you get into the groove of sitting quietly, I think you’ll come to love these moments of peace. You’ll naturally want to include them in your routine.
As an added bonus, calm will begin to spill over into your day. You’ll also recover faster in those times you do get triggered by stress because your brain and body are learning a calmer way of being.
This is not instant magic. It takes a regular commitment. But with time and practice, calm can become the foundation of your being.
Wouldn’t that be beautiful?
[Photo by Valeria Boltneva from Pexels]
Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Don’t forget to sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self.
You might also like to check out my Living with Ease course or visit my Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always. With love, Sandra