How to Take Care of Your Heart in Brutal Times
Updated February 27, 2022
The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion. - Thomas Payne
School shootings, terrorist attacks, fires, floods, droughts, and now, COVID19—a more invisible but equally horrific killer—at times, the world seems more brutal than one can bear.
The trauma that results from immediate or secondhand experience of such violence can etch itself into your brain, your cells, and your being. Its impact can leave you feeling jittery, unsafe and triggered into alarm by unexpected noise or movements.
An increase in violent acts in the West brings home a different reality to comfortable Westerners—a glimpse into the daily experience of thousands of people who live in worn-torn countries, places dominated by ruthless dictators, or among a white majority but simply have a different color skin.
Instead of bursting into anger or blame, this can be an invitation to walk in the shoes of the war-weary and let it break open your heart.
For your own sanity, it can help to establish a way of responding to these deeply unsettling events, which seem to be occurring with greater frequency. And, in fact, terrorism, murder, death from hunger, rape, and abuse happen every day whether they’re visible to us or not.
You may still be shocked by the brutality of a sudden devastating event, but you can have a positive practice in place to care for your own heart and to extend love and kindness to others who feel the pain, sadness, grief, or anger of tragedy. An established practice will help you avoid falling into fear, hopelessness, sorrow, or anger for long periods of time as well.
This Is How I Take Care of My Heart in Brutal Times
You don’t need to wait for the next report of violence from the media. Begin a daily practice now to strengthen yourself for whatever might occur in the future.
This is what I do…
1. Pray
I pray. I pray for all who are suffering, the victims and the perpetrators. I pray that everyone realizes the uselessness of violence. Violence only perpetuates more violence, and the cycle continues from day-to-day, month-to-month, year-to-year, lifetime-to-lifetime.
Prayer is not limited to the domain of theistic religion. It can be as simple as make a positive wish or aspiration.
Prayer is not an old woman’s idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action. — Gandhi
2. Send Love
I drop into my heart and send love to those who are suffering, misguided, or dead.
In the Buddhist schema, love is a potent antidote to anger along with patience. By strengthening your own love, you’re more likely to respond to others with love, understanding, and care—creating peace instead of conflict.
I also believe we can help people find peace after death by directing positive thoughts and emotions towards them.
3. Remember the Goodness
I remember all the goodness in this world. This helps me stay out of discouragement.
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ — Fred Rogers
4. Accept Impermanence
I practice accepting impermanence. Everyone and everything in this world is subject to decay, decline, and death. Nothing will survive in the long run. We just don’t know when it will dissolve.
This might sound dismal, but accepting impermanence will help you appreciate what’s here right now, live more comfortably with uncertainty, and let go of the expectation that everything should remain the same.
5. Cut the Root of Violence
I try to cut the root of violence in myself. Prayer alone is not enough. We must actively work toward creating peace in our families, our community, our country, and our world.
Violence comes from confused or painful thoughts and emotions: pride, jealousy, desire, ignorance, greed, and anger.
Are any of us entirely free of these negative emotions? We must begin by transforming our own mind.
So, I practice mastering my own thoughts and emotions. In brief, this means to refrain from harm, do good, and transform negative thoughts and emotions into positive ones.
It’s not always easy, of course. A storm of negative emotions can easily sweep you away. But once you start practicing, these pesky mind-states will gradually erode away.
6. Serve Others
I’ve helped in active ways as well. I’ve rescued battered women and helping raped women recover from their terror. There are countless ways to help from assisting a single person in need to making donations of food, money, or clothing to becoming an aid worker.
I love this quote from author Elizabeth Gilbert, which reminds us there’s always someone in need of our help,
“But when the world starts to feel overwhelming in its sorrows, I always ask myself to look around me — to narrow down my focus — and to notice somebody who is nearby me, who is suffering. I can’t help the millions, but maybe I can help one. You never have to look very far to find a suffering soul.”
Another option is to simplify your life, aim to be more sustainable, and say no to the temptations pushed upon us by the media and large corporations.
Every choice you take, makes a difference in this world for better or for worse. We may not be shooting guns or throwing bombs, but when we buy more than we need, we’re contributing to melting ice, rising tides, warming temperatures, and dangerously wild weather events— all of which leads to death.
Is anyone innocent? Live simply so others can simply live. Say no to corporate greed.
Choose Peace
Remaining steadfast in the midst of chaos is not meant to make light of the travesties that have occurred nor does it make you unfeeling. Naturally, pain and distress will arise. But if you know how to take care of your heart, you’ll have a way to allow these emotions and then let them go so they don’t become a heavy burden in your life.
I know some people will say it’s easy for me to write these rose-colored words since I live in relative comfort and ease. That’s true, but I have been a victim of violence myself and have lived with the resulting trauma for decades.
As much as I wish for peace on earth, I’m don’t know what the future holds. But it doesn’t help to speculate or project into the future. Instead, we can create peace in our own mind and heart right now. This simple way of being will ripple out and positively affect others as well.
“Each of us carries a unique spark of the divine, and each of us is also an inseparable part of the web of life.” — Viktor Frankl
Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Don’t forget to sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self.
You might also like to check out my Living with Ease course or visit my Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always. With love, Sandra
