Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her. – Lao Tzu
Think of a tiny seed that pushes itself gently through the earth until one day it shoots through, opening to the sunlight. It knows its mission and moves steadily ahead, without doubt or self-consciousness. When the right moment arrives, it blooms fantastically, willing to be seen in all its glory
Confidence doesn’t have to be bold, brash, or belligerent. It can be quiet, gentle, and steady, like the seed that grows day-by-day into its fullness, when fed with the proper nutrients and the right environmental conditions.
Sometimes, it seems like an epidemic of low confidence has swept across the modern world. Its nasty tendrils crawl through the tiny corridors of our brains, whispering self-doubts, making us repeat the same old, defeating patterns, and even triggering self-destructive behaviors.
It’s not necessarily easy to change this encoded brain biology, but it’s possible.
Build Your Confidence with Positive Self-Talk
It all begins with one thought, one word, one step, and continues with the next.
How you speak to yourself can make all the difference in the world. If you tell yourself scary stories, you’ll stay small, contracted, and unfulfilled. So start telling yourself a new story using your favorite phrases from the list below.
- I listen to my inner voice, my intuition, and my own direct experience.
- I take joy in every positive step I take.
- I know my life is a miracle. I respect it like a precious gem.
- My “failures” are stepping stones to success, when I see them in a positive light.
- I value myself. I value my mind, my emotions, my body, and my spirit.
- Low self-esteem is an old story I’m no longer willing to tell myself.
- It’s okay to make mistakes. I’m human! I still love and appreciate myself.
- I’m a whiz at navigating bumps in the road.
- I’m grateful for bumps in the road, they help me steer in the best direction.
- Small steps build my confidence. I’ll take a small step toward one of my goals today.
- I frequently remember my successes in full technicolor.
- I believe in myself. I’m excited about my talents, gifts, and qualities.
- I accept my weaknesses with spaciousness, humor, and ease. They do not detract from my confidence.
- I don’t have to be perfect to be confident.
- I’m unique. I don’t compare myself to others.
- I am enough. I do enough, I have enough.
- I’m in charge of my life. I make the best possible decisions for myself based on what I know in the present moment.
- This is my life. This life belongs to me.
- I distinguish clearly between what I need to accept and what I can change.
- I do my best. At the same time, I know I’m not necessarily in control of the outcome. I won’t loose my confidence if things don’t go my way.
- I’m always guided on my path. Guidance comes to me easily when I quiet my mind and listen.
Use a selection of these “mantras” everyday. Write them on post-it notes and place them in visible spots throughout your home and workplace (if the latter is appropriate). Write them in your journal or on index cards that you can carry with you and look at each day. Record them and play them back to yourself.
Don’t Suppress Your Emotions
Of course, don’t suppress insecure feelings when they arise. Let them rise and see them for what they are:
- Thoughts that have no weight or substance that will vanish momentarily – or at least eventually – into thin air.
- Emotions that want to bowl you over, but they too will disappear if you don’t feed them a sumptuous feast of more despair.
Gradually, as you learn to be aware of your thoughts and emotions and let them pass by like clouds in the sky, they’ll gradually lose their hold on you.
Confidence cannot be forced, it comes from many little steps. Like a seed, it must be watered and tended to with care.
Thank you for being here. If you enjoyed this article, please share it with others, every share makes a big difference. Thank you! May you be well, happy, and safe – always. With love, Sandra