Are you tired of all the drama in your life?

Sometimes drama comes from external events. Life can unexpectedly bulldoze us. There’s no question about that.

But so much high drama comes about from our own tendency to emotionalize and intensify events. This applies to real challenges as well as tiny things, like the fact that someone gave you an odd look this morning.

It doesn’t have to be that way. With small doses of consistent mindful effort, you can radically reduce the unnecessary drama in your life.

Here are five ways to stop creating emotional drama for yourself. I call them “wonderful” because, when applied, they can significantly reduce stress, free up tons of energy, and lead to a more peaceful life.

Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

1. Stop dwelling in the past 

When your mind wanders into the past, you can get stuck in loops of hurt, resentment, and anger toward someone who did you wrong. You can get stuck in self-recrimination and “if only” scenarios if you ruminate about a past failure or fault on your part. You can get stuck longing for a time in the past that seems better than your life right now.

Churning over past events can also reinforce false beliefs about yourself and lead to more negative self-talk. Is that what you want?

The past no longer exists. So, decide to let go of thoughts of the past and stay focused on the present moment instead. 

I know it’s tricky, but whenever you find yourself living in the past, bring your mind back to the present moment. Do this again and again. Gradually, past events will lose their hold on you.

Your life may not be perfect now. But instead of dwelling in the past, take time to notice and appreciate the positives each day. You’ll naturally feel better.

Make this promise to yourself:

“I promise myself that I will enjoy every minute of the day that is given me to live.”—Thich Nhat Hanh

2. Stop anticipating the future

We might be able to direct our life to some extent. How it actually unfolds may be very different from what we imagine, however. 

For example, I never planned to live in Hawaii, but here I am.

So why waste your time thinking too much about a future that may never occur?

When you think too much about the future, you can wind yourself up emotionally. You might create a sense of pressure and the feeling you should do more. You can suddenly feel discontent with what you have now when it was quite fine a moment ago. You can even entangle yourself in worry and anxiety if you imagine the future will not be bright.

Decide instead to live your life today, in each present moment. When you find your mind wandering into the future, simply bring it back to the present moment. Do this again and again. It’s the magical way to more and more peace.

“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.”—George Harrison

3. Accept impermanence

Although we long for security, we weren’t put on this earth for everything to stay the same. We’re here to learn about and transform ourselves into better human beings. At least, that’s what I believe.

You can kick and scream when change occurs—your partner leaves you, your boss lets you go, you’re diagnosed with a life-altering illness—but what good does it do you? 

Change often brings about the most dramatic transformations in life. In a year, you might decide a particular change was the best thing that could have ever happened even if you resisted it initially.

Naturally, you’ll have emotional reactions when change occurs. But try not to amplify them or focus on them too much. That’s precisely what creates unnecessary emotional drama. 

Instead, tell yourself, you’ll be okay. Learn to adapt to the new and live life your way.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them. That only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”—Lao Tzu

4. Set healthy boundaries

A lack of boundaries automatically sets the stage for emotional theatrics.

You might spend hours in frustration and resentment internally recounting a particular violation or complaining about it to another. You may even go back and forth with the offender on email or text for days arguing your case. You may eventually reach a tipping point, explode, and attack the person who has crossed your invisible line .

This person may have in fact acted inappropriately.

But if you had clear boundaries, you would have been less likely to get in such a pickle from the start.

Healthy boundaries and clear communication pulls the pin on needless drama.

If you find it hard to set healthy boundaries, it’s not your fault. It might be a pattern you picked up in childhood that has been reinforced as an adult.

But you’re not set in stone. 

You can learn to set healthy boundaries, one step and one day at a time. There are many therapists, coaches, and courses that can help you learn to stand up for yourself.

You’ll fee more powerful and confident when you have healthy boundaries. And you’ll no longer waste your precious time and energy on superfluous exchanges.

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated.”—Brené Brown

5. See challenges as opportunities

Challenges are opportunities for your own personal growth—but, only if you decide to see them that way. 

They can be very hard. No one denies that.

But if you don’t accept challenges as opportunities, you’re left in the victim role, always wondering, “Why did this happen to me?” 

As a result, you can become resentful, mad, or hopeless. Those kinds of attitude deplete your emotional reservoir making it all the more difficult to meet the challenge at your best.

We all face challenges in life. I know they’re not easy. But if you decide see challenges as opportunities they will become easier. 

You may still feel overwhelmed or get stuck in self-doubt at times. But with a positive attitude, you’ll have the courage to pick yourself up and keep moving.

This one attitude adjustment can eliminate so much drama from your life.

“Only as a warrior can one withstand the path of knowledge. A warrior cannot complain or regret anything. His life is an endless challenge, and challenges cannot possibly be good or bad. Challenges are simply challenges.”—Carlos Castaneda

Closing Thoughts

There are many ways to reduce emotional drama in life. These are just a few, but I’ve found them to be some of the most powerful ones. 

1. Stop dwelling in the past

2. Stop anticipating the future

3. Accept impermanence

4. Set healthy boundaries

5. See challenges as opportunities

Write these steps down in a notebook or on your device. Practice them again and again. 

If you do, I’m confident you’ll see a corresponding reduction of unnecessary drama in your life.

Think of all the energy you’ll free up when you’re no longer tempted by emotional drama. Won’t it be wonderful to live in peace?

Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious!  Don’t forget to  sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self. 

You might also like to check out my  Living with Ease course or visit my Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always.  With love, Sandra