Do you find adulting difficult? 

Do all those grown-up behaviors like paying bills on time, running errands before you run out of essential items, or getting your taxes done on time elude you?

I understand. Really, I do!

While “adulting” may be a noun turned into a verb by millennials, the challenge isn’t exclusive to that generation alone. I was born a bit earlier (okay, a lot earlier) and have faced adulting challenges for the better part of my life.

I feel like I was born with one foot on planet earth and the other in the stars. Strangely, I can manage an entire non-profit organization. But the practical details of my personal life quickly overwhelm me.

Fortunately, I’ve had partners who excelled at adulting skills. They saved my skin time and again. But they felt exasperated by my flakiness. And they felt resentful about taking on more than their fair share of the practical stuff. Not an ideal scenario for any romantic relationship, right?

And of course, when you slip up again, you might feel shame, inadequacy, and even defectiveness. Who wants to live in that emotional hole?

If you’re tired of paying late fees, getting condescending looks from your partner, family members, or friends, or worrying about the police pulling you over because your registration is past due, I have some adulting tips for you.

Ready?

1. Automate Bill Paying

Automatic bill pay may sound obvious. But in reality, only 50% of consumers use it. 

I often missed paying bills on time because, as the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind. I left my bills in a stack of mail or “important” paper, which I fully intended to get to “later.” 

But often I didn’t until the due date had passed. That meant extra fees, frustration with myself, and the consternation of those around me, 

Now, all my monthly bills are automated. Aside from the initial set up, monthly bill paying no longer consumes my energy or attention. I happily, never miss a due date.

It didn’t happen overnight. One of my partners got me started. Then I continued on my own. 

I’ve had slip ups—times when I got a new credit card and didn’t set the automatic payment immediately. A month later, I would suddenly remember: “OMG, is it past the due date on my new credit card bill?”

If you’re concerned about not having sufficient funds your bills come due, you can set a banking alert to notify you when your balance is low.

But I didn’t put it off for a year. I got on it right away.

What about one-off bills that can’t be automated like yearly car registration, bi-annual car insurance, or annual real estate tax?

You need a system. Here are three that have worked at different times for me:

• Pay the bill the same day you receive it. Don’t touch it twice. Open it and pay it online, by phone, or by writing a check and putting it in the mail.

• Designate a day each week when you pay outstanding bills. Take the time you need to make this a regular habit. You might slip up at first, but keep at it.

• Mark the due date of your bill in your planner or on a wall calendar. It might help to circle it in a bright color. Also mark a pay date a week earlier. Pay the bill on your designated pay date.

Automatic bill pay doesn’t mean you can forget your bank account or credit cards entirely. You still need to log in on a regular basis to check your balances and review your accounts for suspicious activity.

Won’t it be nice to buy yourself a treat rather than pay late fees?

2. Do Things Right Away

If I don’t do things right away, they get lost to the wind. 

For example, when I first conduct business with a new person—an attorney, a catchment cleaner, a car detailer—I write his or her address in my contact list. 

I’ve had to pour through a mountain of old emails to find a phone number or address when I didn’t follow this practice.

Save yourself time and frustration: 

• Add that item to your grocery list as soon as it comes to mind.

• Write an appointment you just made in your calendar immediately rather than on an easy-to-lose sticky note.

• Call the apartment manager to get a problem fixed instead of putting it off.

Let think and act be a sequence rather than a long interrupted process.

3. Fill Things up Before They Run Out

There’s nothing more annoying than having my hot shower ended early because the propane tank ran out. 

Yes, that has indeed happened to me. And there was also the time I couldn’t wash dishes for the same reason.

There’s no reason I should ever run out because I have two twenty-pound propane tanks. As soon as one is empty, I can switch to the other and get the empty one filled. But obviously, I’ve failed to do that on occasion.

But I have improved, haven’t I? I’ve only running out of propane a few times in four years. Don’t forget to celebrate your wins.

I’ve also been known to drive on fumes because I didn’t fill my gas tank. Now, I make it a point to fill up before or as soon as the “low fuel” bleeps its message. But you could fill up once a week so you never get bleeped.

What do you need to regularly fill up in your life? Create a reminder system, fill up regularly, and eliminate the stress of “empty.” 

4. Buy Backups

It’s also frustrating to be in the shower and suddenly discover your shampoo bottle is empty. Now, I either buy in bulk or at least purchase a back up of all my essential items like:

• Soap

• Toothpaste

• Laundry Detergent

• Dishwashing Soap

• Sponges

• Dental Floss

• Toilet Paper

• Vitamins

As soon as I’m down to my last item, I buy a replacement or two (or more). Alternatively, you can sign up for online subscription services that deliver items to you on a monthly basis.

5. Make Master Lists 

Master lists save you time, energy, and brain power. They’ll make it harder to forget the tasks you need to get done and the items you need to purchase.

Make master lists in different areas of your life. For example:

• A running to do list—it can be sorted by priority and category if you like.

• A master shopping list—use it as a basis for compiling your weekly shopping list.

• A master cleaning list—it can be organized into daily, weekly, quarterly, and annual tasks.

Most planners have extra pages for lists like these. Or just keep them in an inexpensive notebook and put it in an easy-to-reach place.

6. Write Everything in One Place

I used to write important pieces of information on anything at hand—a sticky note, an envelop, or the back of an unrelated piece of paper. They easily get lost amidst my other piles of paper.

This caused overwhelm and chaos in my life. I could rarely find an important phone number, name, or date when I needed it. 

Now I use a planner that has monthly, weekly, and daily pages. I write everything in my planner. That way, I don’t forget and can return to critical information that I need again and again.

There are so many amazing paper planners available. Get one and try it out. Or use an online app like Evernote, Motion, or Asana.

7. Keep an “Adulting” Tracker

Once, I didn’t get the annual safety check done on my car for an entire year. So, I didn’t have the right color tag on the back of my car to ward off police stops. Fortunately, I was lucky in that respect.

One day, I dropped a friend off at her mechanic’s shop. As I was driving off, he just happened to notice my missing tag. He wasn’t accepting new work because he was going on vacation in two days. But he offered to do my safety check because he said the fines, if caught, are outrageous.

Adulting tasks that occur once or twice a year are especially hard to remember. Make it easier for yourself and keep an “adulting tracker” similar to the habit tracker pictured above.

On the side, list your big adulting tasks that occur less frequently. Along the top, list the month of the year. 

Your adulting tasks could include:

• Annual car safety (or emissions) check

• Annual car registration

• Annual physical exam

• Mammogram and other OB-GYN related tests

• Smoke detector replacement

• Mattress rotation

• Driver’s License Renewal

• Passport Renewal

• Colonoscopy

This isn’t an exhaustive list. And some of the appointments don’t occur every year—like your driver’s license renewal. But you can list those below your tracker so they’re always in your mind’s eye.

When you complete the task, check it off in your adulting tracker. Or you could list the date in the right column instead.

Can you imagine how much more hassle it would be if you forget to renew your driver’s license on time? 

Closing Thoughts

Don’t feel bad if you’ve been a slacker like me. 

Maybe your parents never taught you basic life skills so you entered adulthood relatively clueless. Maybe your parents did everything for you so you never had a chance to nail down adulting skills for yourself. Or maybe you have a brain like mine that operates by the out of sight, out of mind principle.

Have compassion for yourself. 

But also decide to get your act together. If you worked on implementing just one of the above skills per month for the next seven months, you will have transformed your world in an extremely beneficial way.

Just imagine: No more sideways looks. No more self-deprecation. No more overwhelm. Plus, more money, more ease, and more confidence.

What could be better than that?

[Initial photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels]

Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious!  Don’t forget to  sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self. 

You might also like to check out my  Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always.  With love, Sandra