Are you forgetful? Fess up!

I am and have been for decades. 

You may not want to admit your forgetfulness due to the sting of social disapproval. You might feel embarrassed or fundamentally flawed, but feel you must pretend to have it all together. You might be afraid that you have entered into a serious memory disorder.

Covering up, however, can be stressful and ultimately doesn’t work.

So remember, forgetfulness doesn’t mean you lack intelligence, curiosity, or creativity. It’s just one brain function among a host of others.

We all forget sometimes, but some of us forget more than others—whatever our age. I might be forgetful due to trauma, which can alter executive brain function. Maybe I have Inattentive ADHD, but I haven’t gotten a diagnosis. 

I don’t know why, I just know I’m forgetful.

For example: 

• I arrive home from the store without the most important item on my list

• I often burn food, pots, and pans

• I miss Zoom appointments if I get deeply involved with something else.

If you’re forgetful like me, I say own it. But also be kind to yourself. 

You’re not forgetting on purpose. 

But take responsibility and employ techniques that help you counteract forgetfulness. I’ll share five that consistently work for me.

But first, let’s look at common reasons people forget. Your forgetfulness may be caused by lifestyle choices that can be changed.

Why People Forget

I’ve never met anyone with a perfect memory. Have you?

We all forget sometimes.

In fact there are seven types of normal memory problems like absentmindedness, blocking (when the answer is on the tip of your tongue but you can’t retrieve it), and transience (the tendency to forget less frequently used information over time.)

Harvard Health has also itemized seven common causes of forgetfulness:

• Insufficient sleep

• Specific medications

• An under-active thyroid

• Excessive alcohol use, which can continue to affect memory after the effects of the substance have worn off

• Stress and anxiety, which can interfere with attention and concentration

• Depression

The Mayo Clinic adds brain diseases like tumors and infections, sleep apnea, and B12 deficiency to the list.

Some causes of memory loss, like many on the above list, can be reversed. Wouldn’t it be good to know if yours can be explained by one of these reversible factors?

Some degree of normal memory loss is associated with aging as well. 

If your memory loss falls between normal aging and dementia it may be due to Mild Cognitive Impairment, which sometimes leads to dementia. Diseases that cause progressive damage to the brain often lead to one of the many different forms of dementia like Alzheimer’s.

If you're concerned about memory challenges, whatever your age, discuss it with your doctor. 

But if you have those bases covered and just happen to be more forgetful than the average person, try out these five tips. They have saved me time and again.

1. Get It Down

I write everything down as soon as it comes to mind. Everything.

Use whatever type of recording method works best for you:

• Pen and paper for analog lovers.

• A notes or productivity app on your smart phone, tablet, or computer for digital lovers—ideally, the devices share information with one another.

• An electronic virtual assistant for those who love to give commands on the spot. For example, you can tell an electronic virtual assistant to add items to your shopping list, remind you before an appointment will begin, and tell you where you left your glasses.

I prefer using a planner with monthly, weekly, and daily pages. Alternatively, you could keep a notepad in every room so it’s easy to jot things down as they come to mind.

I’ve set up gorgeous digital productivity systems that worked for a few weeks. But then, I dropped them and never returned. 

The key is to know yourself and the type of system that will work best for you.

Whatever system you choose, it can take time to develop the habit of using it faithfully. So give yourself a little slack at the beginning, but keep with it. One of these methods—analog, digital, or voice commands, should work for you.

2. Use a Timer or An Alarm

I use the timer on my phone every time I cook. 

I might need just ten minutes for my vegetables to steam. But there’s a good chance I’ll get involved with another task, project, or activity and forget the food until scorched odors waft my way.

I also set an alarm to remind me 15–30 minutes before a scheduled Zoom appointment. If I don’t, I may end up in the outer galactic and only recollect the appointment hours after I’ve missed it. 

I have a friend who sets daily alarms to remind her to take medications at specific times throughout the days. 

Alarms can be a fantastic memory aim. I like gentle alarm sounds so I don’t jump out of my skin each time one goes off.

3. Vision Out Complex Days

I have my list of to-dos for any given day, but some dates require more.

When that’s the case, I vision out the day in detail the night before. This includes the sequence of events and tasks, what I need to bring, and what I need to get at each place I intend to visit.

If I go to a doctor’s appointment in the city, I may need to get special items at a box store that aren’t available locally or an unusual item like a new regulator for my propane delivery system.

I write it all on a large post-it note that I can use as a guide and checklist the next day. The list gets tucked next to my phone in the easy to access front compartment of my bag. 

I place any items I need to bring along, like a return that needs to be dropped off at a courier, on a table near the front door.

I decide when I want to arrive in the city; it might be a few hours before an actual appointment in order to do errands. I calculate when I need to leave house and add an hour to get ready.

It may take an extra ten minutes to envision and write out my plan. But it means I’m never late, feel less stressed, and rarely forget an item on my list.

4. Have a Place for Everything

The three things I lose most often are my keys, my reading glasses, and my phone. I’ve designated a place for each one:

• My keys live in a front zippered section of my bag, whether at home or on the go.

• When not in use, my reading glasses live on my kitchen counter or in the drawer of my bedside table at night.

• My phone sits beside me at home. On the go, it sits in another zippered section of my bag.

But I also have places for almost all the regularly used items in my house. 

My dental floss and nail clippers live in my bedside table. I set up a small “command center” that houses my bills to be paid, bills to be filed, my checkbook, and envelops. I keep stamps in the back flap of my planner.

This “a place for everything and everything in its place” approach has saved me so much lost time and energy looking for items that I used to leave haphazardly here or these.

5. Pay Attention

Often we forget because we don’t pay attention in the moment. 

Our mind has wandered into the past, fretting about an annoying exchange or indulging in a happy memory. Or it’s jumped into the future imagining what will happen if you do this or that.

It’s a big ask to be present 1,440 minutes a day.

But the more you practice present moment mindfulness, the easier it is to remember where you placed an object, the upcoming turn off on a highway, and the item you want to add to your to do list.

Short-term memory only last 30 seconds unless you intentionally prolong it. Use mindfulness to increase your short term memory through “rehearsal”—repeating what you want to do in your mind.

For example, if you plan to walk from the bedroom into the kitchen to remove an item from the fridge, repeat your intention in your mind as you make the trek. If instead you allow you mind to wander into other thoughts, your initial intention will likely be bumped out of short term memory.

Develop your capacity for mindfulness by bringing your mind back to the present moment as soon as you’ve noticed it has spaced out or jumped into the past or future.

Becoming more mindful is simply a matter of retraining your brain. It may take time, but it’s not difficult. 

“When walking, walk. When eating, eat.” ― Zen Proverb

Concluding Thoughts

If you’re more forgetful than others, don’t feel bad about yourself. 

Your forgetfulness may be due to a common cause like lack of sleep or an under-active thyroid, and you may be able to reverse it. If however, you think you might have a serious memory disorder, see a doctor and get checked out.

But if you’re just forgetful by nature, use practical methods that can help you remember like the ones that have saved me time and again:

1. Write everything down

2. Use a time or alarm

3. Vision out complex days

4. Assign everything a specific place

5. Pay attention in the moment.

Regularly using these methods has saved me so much time, energy, and distress. At this point, they’ve become second nature so I rarely forget. 

Wouldn’t that be a blessing for you too?

[Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels]

Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious!  Don’t forget to  sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from the heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self. 

You might also like to check out my  Self-Care Shop. May you be happy, well, and safe – always.  With love, Sandra