Always Well Within

Calm Your Mind, Ease Your Heart, Embrace Your Inner Wisdom

Tag: Self Compassion

Self-Love: Why Should It Matter to You?

Why Should Self-Love Matter to You

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”  – Lao Tzu

How do you feel when you hear the phrase “self-love?”  What thoughts come to your mind?

For a very long time, most of my life actually, I felt aversion to the idea of self-love. You could sum it up in one word:  “Yuck.”  The notion of self-love often evokes knee-jerk reactions and judgments like this, doesn’t it?

Resistance, guilt, unworthiness, unease, self-indulgence, aversion, tightening – these are just a few common responses that might arise when you hear someone say, “Love yourself.”

These are the boulders blocking your way on the path to self love.

It’s likely they’ve been installed for a good reason:  To protect you in some mysterious way.

But there comes a time when the pain of constant self-dislike or indifference is no longer bearable.  It’s time to start moving those boulders aside.

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Self-Compassion: The Best Way to Calm Your Inner Critic

Self-Compassion + the Inner Critic

I’m delighted to share a guest post today from Maureen Cooper from The Path to Self-Compassion online course.

Our inner critic can be very effective in making us feel inadequate and worthless. Learning to tame it through self-compassion is the very best thing we can do for ourselves. Here is my own story of how I  experienced this for myself, and used self-compassion to calm my own inner critic.

Some years ago, when I was in my early thirties, I found myself drawn to the baby department of a large London store. For quite some time, I wandered around gazing longingly at the tiny garments and prettily decorated furniture. Gradually I became aware that I was avoiding the other shoppers and trying to hide myself from view. I kept looking around nervously. Slowly it dawned on me that I was afraid of being thrown out, exposed as a fraud, called out for not being a mother—disputed as even being a ‘real’ woman.

This memory still has the power to move me, and causes me to shudder even now. I had been told a few weeks earlier that it was very unlikely that I would be able to have children of my own. An infection in my fallopian tubes had caused them to close and buckle and the likelihood of them ever being healthy again was remote.

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How to Take Care of Yourself When You Don’t Feel Grateful

When you don't feel gratitude, practice self-compassion

As we approach the obligatory day of gratitude in the U. S., some of you may not feel particularly grateful.  I understand.  I faced an entire decade of challenges when my heart wasn’t overflowing with gratitude.  I just wanted it – all the challenges – to all go away.

There are countless reasons why you might not feel grateful at the moment:

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