Always Well Within

Calm Your Mind, Ease Your Heart, Embrace Your Inner Wisdom

Tag: Healing

How to Heal from Feeling Rejected By a Loved One

Healing | Rejection

Reader Question:  How do I deal with rejection?  I have a daughter who no longer wants to have any connection with me.  Was it my fault?

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I don’t have a child, but I can only imagine how the hurt feels multiplied when there’s both a biological and emotional link.  Even so, I’m not a stranger to rejection. I’ve faced major rejection several times in my life and each time, I felt like my world was torn apart.

So let’s begin by acknowledging that rejection isn’t easy. Because of that, you need extra infusions of self-love and self-care. Also, be sure to reach out to to others — family, friends, a therapist, or a coach — for the support you need and deserve.  This isn’t a time to suffer in isolation. Although it might feel uncomfortable to seek support at first, the love and care you receive will help soothe your pain.

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Can Illness Be a Path of Self-Transformation?

Illness As a Path of Self-Transformation

I hesitate to share any longer about illness on my Facebook personal profile as I inevitably receive unsolicited and unhelpful advice on how to set my thinking straight or questions like, “What on earth are you eating?”

Some people with a bent toward the Law of Attraction try to correct my thinking and my words, which according to their belief system causes my physical woes. Others offer lectures on the superiority of a vegetarian diet and imply I’m not ready for the “new awareness” because I haven’t adopted one.

I used to feel upset when I received these comments. Now that I’m growing in my self-sovereignty, I delete them.

Of course, I don’t mind people promoting their views on their own Facebook page or blog just like I do. When I visit a page or blog, I have the option to stay or to go and never return, if I wish.

But I feel invaded and invisible when people use my personal profile as a place to proselytize.

What Comes Around, Goes Around

I confess I have a history as a busybody, arrogantly assuming I could solve other peoples’ problems. No wonder I receive comments like this now! As they say, what comes around, goes around.

I finally learned that my interventions were usually not helpful. They only kept me occupied so I didn’t have to look within and heal my own life – too scary a proposition at that point.

I understand people are trying to help in their own way, just as I was. But, at least for me, this type of behavior is not helpful. I find sharing our personal stories empowering, but thinking you have the only correct approach and pushing it on others – no way!

Of course, there’s always something to learn even from cloaked criticism. I try to assimilate any truth or lesson before I hit delete and to do the latter without enmity. I also aspire to be more self-confident and less perturbed by such happenings.

Illness Is A Journey

Unless you have the capacity for profound seeing, it’s very difficult to know the best healing path for someone else. Sometimes a doctor or natural healer will give someone the right treatment, but they never have a 100% cure rate, do they? In fact, their success in numbers falls far short of that.

Also, there’s nothing “wrong” with being ill so there’s no need to rush in to fix someone else. It’s a valid path of potential self-transformation just like any life challenge. Do you want to steal that away from someone else?  Some people face financial troubles or relationship issues, addiction or problems at work. Illness is simply another path that can lead you to your true self.

Whatever path you’re on, this is your journey and your opportunity. And, resisting the journey of transformation is as much a part of the process as learning to embrace it.

As Kris Carr, who has been thriving while co-existing with a slow-growing Stage 4 cancer for more than 10 years, has said that cancer is her guru.  I’m sure she didn’t feel that way in the beginning, however – because most people go through several different emotional stages before they arrive at acceptance.  But now Carr she says:

“This WTF moment sparked a deep desire in me to stop holding back and start participating in my well-being. Though I can’t be cured, I can still be healthy — I can still feel better, love harder and have a more joyful life. So I hit the road on a self-care pilgrimage and haven’t looked back. More than a decade later, my life is more connected and magical than it was before my diagnosis.”

But even if your outcome isn’t so rosy on a physical level, it doesn’t mean you haven’t succeeded in transforming your heart and mind – the only truly important outcome in this life.

When it comes to change, healing, and transformation, it takes as long as it takes. No one can figure it out for you. They might be able to give you pieces of the puzzle or lead you to the right door, but you still have to do the physical, mental, emotional, and energetic work. These elements work synergistically. Without one, the whole shebang might fail.

And don’t forget karma. There’s a timeframe attached to each karma. However, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck forever. You can shape your future by being intentional with your thoughts, words, and actions now. But when it comes to past karma, sometimes you have to wait it out. Acceptance (not resignation) makes this easier.

There may indeed come a moment when the karma exhausts itself and the situation suddenly shifts. So don’t get stuck in impossible or forever thinking either. It’s all about lightly holding what appears to be paradoxical.

The Healing Power of Mind

Although I don’t believe in the Law of Attraction (here are 4 reasons why), I do believe in the healing power of mind.

In a recent talk, contemporary spiritual teacher Prem Baba said the miracle of healing can occur through faith in the ultimate alone. The body is made of the 5 elements – earth, water, fire, air, and space – which can be manipulated through faith and alignment with your spiritual essence.

But, he adds, if you don’t have faith, you need medicine. And, sometimes your faith can bring you to the right medicine. He encourages his students to use natural medicine, but he says sometimes allopathic medicine is needed. Every case is different.

And that’s the key point: Every case is different so don’t presume you know what’s best for someone else.

The path of illness is an opportunity to learn to trust yourself. Only you know for certain, what’s the right approach for you. Some people heal cancer through hardcore surgery, radiation, and drugs. Others, juice it to death. Different formulas work for different people so there can’t be a single right way.

In any case, healing is not just about the physical outcome. It’s about what you learn, how you grow, and the way you transform your heart and mind along the way.

What are your thoughts about illness as an opportunity?  Do you believe in the healing power of mind?  Just scroll down to join the conversation.  I would love to hear your thoughts.

Thank you for reading! If you have a moment, please share this article with others. Until next time, may you be well, happy, and safe. With love, Sandra

Great Links for a Good Life {04.22.15}

Trees

Welcome to my personal selection of exceptional posts from around the web, inspiring resources to help you live the best possible life, and a good book or two.  Enjoy!

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Lessons from a Miracle

Jiro Murai, founder of Jin Shyin Jyutsu

Jiro Murai

I’m always intrigued by stories of miraculous healing.  This is the story of Jiro Murai, a consummate over-eater, when he was on the verge of death:

“…he had a reckless nature and overindulged in food and drink – even to the point of entering eating contests, in which he was awarded cash prizes for consuming huge quantities.  By the time he was 26, he was seriously ill.  A succession of doctors treated him, but his condition only worsened until he was pronounced incurable and given up for terminally ill.  As a last request, he asked his family to carry him on a stretcher to their mountain cabin and to leave him there alone for seven days.  He asked that they return for him on the eight day.”

“There in the cabin Murai fasted, meditated, and practiced various finger postures.  During this time he passed in and out of consciousness.  His physical body grew colder. But on the seventh day he felt as if he had been lifted out of a deep freeze and thrown into a blazing furnace.  When the intense heart subsided, he experienced a tremendous calm and inner peace.  To his great surprise, he was healed.  He dropped to his knees, gave thanks, and pledged his life to the study of healing.” – from The Touch of Healing, Energizing Body, Mind and Spirit with the Art of Jin Shyin Jyutsu

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Could Your Love Save a Life?

“Premature babies who survive are tiny miracles of modern medicine. Kyrie (red dot) and Brielle Jackson are also examples of a far more primitive science, that of the loving touch. Born 12 weeks early, the twins were whisked into separate incubators.

Kyrie, the larger at two pounds three ounces, slept peacefully. But Brielle had breathing and heart-rate problems, didn’t gain weight and fussed when anyone tried to comfort her. Finally, a nurse tried a technique called ‘double bedding’ and put the sisters together for the first time since they shared a womb.

‘Brielle snuggled up to Kyrie,’ reports mom Heidi Jackson, ‘and she calmed right down.’

With her sister near, Brielle began to thrive. Sooner then expected, the girls went home…”

Life Magazine, June 1996

The power of love, the power of kindness, the power of touch lies within your heart right now.  Let it free!  You never know…  It might just save someone’s life.

Photo:   Chris Christo/Worcester Telegram & Gazette called “The Rescuing Hug.”

If you enjoyed this inspiration, please share the link with others.   With love, Sandra.

One Powerful Word 2011, Yours & Mine

The idea of choosing One Powerful Word as your guidepost for the new year seems to have a highly positive magnetic charge.  There’s so much excitement and enthusiasm for this simple alternative to New Year’s Resolutions.

If you haven’t chosen your word yet, that’s OK.   There’s no rush.  Let it germinate and blossom in its own time.  You’ll find inspiration and simple tips for choosing and working with your perfect word in my original blog post – One Powerful Word:  A Simple Approach to New Year’s Resolutions – and in this article too.

By the way, we cheat!  One word, two, or three – it’s all good.  It’s all OK.

Your Powerful Words

It was a supreme pleasure to hear your enthusiasm and read your chosen words in your comments.  Here are the words that you have either embraced or been seriously tempted by:

  • Balancing Serenity and Full Throttle Ahead
  • Bold
  • Compassion
  • Continuous and Never Ending Improvement (CANI)
  • Courage
  • Creativity – Express and Embrace
  • Decide
  • Fearless
  • Flow
  • Growth
  • Healing
  • Just Breathe!
  • Gentle
  • Kindness and Positivity
  • Love
  • Mindfulness
  • Minimalist
  • Nying je – the Supreme Emotion
  • Omipotent
  • Peace
  • Peace and Abundance
  • Present
  • Reconciliation
  • Rise and Shine, Sunshine
  • Simplify and Grow
  • Success
  • Team-Time
  • Trailblaze
  • Passion
  • Void
  • Yield

You will find more inspiration for finding and working with your special word in these insightful blog posts.

  • Lance at The Jungle of Life chose shine.
  • Galen at 10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place chose yield.
  • Tess at The Bold Life chose love.

Or if you need more words, try these simple approaches:

If you’ve written a blog post on your One Powerful Word 2011 please leave the link in the comments.

My One Powerful Word 2011:  Healing

Almost all of us need healing in one way or another, don’t we?

It might be a small hurt from sharp words, a funny kink in an important relationship, a deep childhood wound, a severe trauma, or sudden serious illness that’s caused us to lose our ground.

But sometimes healing isn’t easy to come by.

Then the planets shift.  A karma completes.  Grace penetrates.  The time is suddenly and gorgeously ripe for healing.

I didn’t choose healing.  Healing chose me.

It all began gradually last summer, a month or two before my birthday.  In astrology, this is the time of the solar return when themes and issues in your life naturally shift.  It’s not the exact time of your birth time. It may be the day before or the day after and it changes each year.  As astrologer Mary Fortier Shea explains.

“A solar return chart is a chart erected for the time that the transiting Sun returns to the position of the natal Sun.”

“The significance of the solar return runs birthday to birthday, with a three month overlap at the beginning and end of each year.  The symbolism of the new solar return can be felt as much as three months before the birthday by very intuitive people.  Usually, at this time, one becomes aware of new directions, opportunities, and problems.  …On the other hand, the significance of the old solar return may not feel passé until three months after your birthday.”

This may be one reason that many people aren’t successful with New Year’s Resolutions.  It’s not a natural time to make changes for everyone.

Since my own birthday in September, I’ve noticed an increase in spontaneous occurrences related to healing.  For example, I happened upon a medical intuitive who graciously tuned in and told me the name of a specific remedy I need.  I didn’t know this person and didn’t ask for a reading.  It was a brief, chance encounter.  I may never see her again.

So HEALING is my One Powerful Word 2011

Profound healing.  Deep healing. Joyful healing.  Playful healing.

Healing encompasses faith, contentment, comfort and ease – the other contenders for my 2011 extraordinary word.  A single word doesn’t have to be limiting.  Like a jewel with many facets it can and most likely will  reflect different aspects of your transformative process.

What am I healing?

  • A frazzled nervous system
  • An overactive immune system
  • The remnants of trauma

My Healing Tool Kit

Here’s my healing toolkit:

  • meditation and mindfulness
  • loving kindness
  • faith and trust
  • breathing exercises
  • relaxation
  • rest
  • playfulness
  • visualization
  • nature
  • the elements
  • gardening
  • chi gong
  • expressive writing – blogging and journaling
  • eco-friendly conscious living
  • drumming
  • intuition and receptivity
  • NAET and other unconventional approaches to healing
  • acupuncture
  • meaningful relationships

Meditation itself is profoundly healing.  It’s the core of my approach to wellness and a primary focus in my life.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” – Buddha

What does healing mean to me?  This definition captures the essence of healing:

“Healing means to ‘to make whole.’  It, in fact derives from the same root as ‘health’ and ‘whole.’

from The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook – A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth by Glen R. Shiraldi

Recovery means returning to your former state of health.  That may not always be possible.

But healing – feeling whole again – always is. Here’s a toast to feeling whole again.  For me and for you!

Have you chosen One Powerful Word for 2011?  Please tell us in the comments and let us know how the process has been for you.

If you liked this article, please share the link with others.  Thanks so much!  Sandra

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