Tag Archives: Compassion

Three Essential Elements of Personal Power

May 19, 2013 3:45 am \ 20 Comments \

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Last night, I went to an introductory talk on Sexual Shamanism and Conscious Sensuality.  Apparently, we’re so disconnected from our bodies, our senses, our sensuality, and our sexuality that many people will pay upwards of $3,000 to tune back in.

Sexuality workships aren’t groundbreaking, however.  Research into the human sexual response began in the 50′s with Masters and Johnson, and people have been exploring ever since, and long before then too.  But, now there are new buzz words like “Shamanism” or “Consciousness” giving the topic a slightly different twist.

I took away some new perspectives from the talk, for which I am grateful, but I quickly tired of the overused lingo.  In particular, the repetition of the phrase “harvest your power” annoyed me to no end.

One of the listeners expressed a concern about harvesting one’s power.  She thought it might increase ego, the opposite aim of spiritual practice. The presenter reassured her that humility and integrity are essential to personal power. So no worries! But I wasn’t fully convinced.  Because, honestly, any approach can be used to bolster ego.  Ego is clever in its relentless attempts at self-deception.

As one way to harvest their personal power, people were encouraged to stand up in front of the group and share their most secret sexual fantasy.  If you’re an inhibited person, this exercise may indeed make you feel more powerful, at least momentarily.  Or you might just feel stupid or embarrassed and want to hide in a hole.

“Is this the true path to personal power?”  I wondered.  Don’t get me wrong.  I think this type of workshop serves a purpose, and can definitely increase your confidence, self-acceptance, sense of ease, and your ability to experience pleasure.  It just may not be the whole banana.

Three Essential Elements of Personal Power

All this talk about harvesting power stirred me to clarify my own definition of personal power.  Before you slap down several thousands dollars to learn how to harvest your power, wouldn’t it be smart to first know what personal power means to you?  Just to be sure you get the right thing?

My version of personal power is slightly different than standing behind a microphone and revealing your sexual secrets or what it feels like to be turned on to a group of 60 people.  These are three essential elements of personal power from my point of view:

  • A Boundless Wisdom that sees the world and the self as it is, ever-changing and inherently non-existent. This means recognizing there are two aspects of mind:  the essence of mind and the appearances of mind (thoughts and emotions).  Then choosing to rest in the essence of mind rather than becoming entangled in all the projections like hope and fear, negative emotions, stories and dramas.  Naturally, this takes time and practice.
  • Immeasurable Compassion, which expresses itself through the Four Boundless Qualities of love, compassion, joy and impartiality and extends to all living beings.  These are qualities that you too can learn to cultivate.
  • An Infinite Power or Capability to liberate others from suffering and delusion, once we’ve actualized these qualities to a greater degree.

Everyone of us is naturally endowed with these three profound qualities, but usually we are so caught up in the projections of mind we fail to realize or cultivate them.  The way to practice them is through meditation (mindfulness and awareness) and compassion practice.

When these three qualities begin to manifest, even to a small degree, your mind and life will begin to change.  You will find:

  • self-acceptance
  • an ability to let go of expectations and judgments
  • less negativity
  • a sense of being well in your own skin
  • confidence
  • kindness, love, compassion, and joy
  • a feeling of being more in touch with yourself and with others
  • a sense of responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions.
  • feeling as though you are directing your life rather than being constantly swept into a rapidly running current
  • able to unfold into whatever experience presents itself in life
  • humor and spaciousness
  • integrity and authenticity

In short, wisdom and compassion are the essence of true power.  True power is embodied, in my opinion, by people like the Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Aung Sang Sui Kyi, but their aspiration isn’t necessarily to achieve personal power.

True power is also expressed in everyday acts of kindness when our ego is not in the way:  caring for an ill or dying parent, helping an elderly person carry a heavy shopping bag, encouraging a child.

An incredible potential lies within you ready to be unleashed.  Are you ready to release the floodgates holding back limitless love and profound wisdom and discover a greater measure of personal power?

What are your thoughts on personal power?  Do you aspire to have personal power?  What’s your definition of personal power?

I’m so glad you are here!  If you liked this article, please consider subscribing for free updates by email. And, please help get the word out by sharing this post.  With love, Sandra

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Cultivating Genuine Compassion: Begin with Impartiality

May 5, 2013 3:37 am \ 14 Comments \

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Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it’s beauty. – Albert Einstein

Discovering true happiness and freedom depends entirely on developing an all-encompassing compassion.

Genuine compassion is said to encompass four qualities:

  • Love (sometimes called “loving kindness”)
  • Compassion
  • Joy
  • Equanimity

When these qualities are developed to their fullest, they are known as the Four Immeasurables or Four Boundless Attitudes, meaning that we extend them to all without bias.

As you cultivate these qualities and make them more immeasurable, negative emotions like anger, attachment, jealousy, and partiality will gradually diminish. In their place, you will uncover your kind heart and a more enduring sense of happiness.  At the same time, your relationships with others will come to be characterized by greater warmth, friendliness, and clarity.  Sounds good, don’t you think?

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How to Cope with the Suffering of This World

February 24, 2013 3:53 am \

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Suffering abounds in this world.  Once you open your eyes to all the pain and sorrow, you might start crying and never stop.

The Newtown school shootings, Indian bus rapes, minefields, and modern day slavery pushed me into moments of despair.  Sometimes, all the suffering seems too much to bear.

The Practice of Exchanging Oneself and Others

It is in these times of sheer hopelessness and utter desolation, that I especially turn to the practice of Exchanging Oneself and Others, known as “Tonglen” in Tibetan.  You too can find refuge in this simple practice of breathing in suffering and sending your happiness out on the breath.

“Sometimes, visualize that your heart is a brilliant ball of light.  As you breath out, it radiates rays of while light in all directions, carrying your happiness to all beings.  As you breathe in, their suffering, negativity, and afflictions come toward you in the form of dense, black light, which is absorbed into your heart and disappears in its brilliant while light without a trace, relieving all beings of their pain and sorrow.” – The Heart of Compassion, Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

By engaging in the practice of Exchanging Oneself and Others, you gradually dissolve your own self-cherishing and purify your negative patterns.  The practice simultaneously reveals your compassionate heart and gives birth to an unstoppable love as vast as the sky.  Tonglen will expand your capacity in ways you may have never imagined.

The Impact of Exchanging Oneself and Others

Is Tonglen just a mental placebo or could it really have an effect?  The great spiritual masters tell us:

“By sincerely training in the meditation practice of exchanging suffering with happiness, you will eventually become capable of actually taking on others’ illnesses and curing them, and of giving them your happiness in reality.” – The Heart of Compassion, Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

It’s not necessary to wait until the news of suffering overwhelms you.  You can practice this approach of giving and receiving every day and at any time – on the meditation cushion and in daily life. Whether you are happy or sad, well or ill.  Whenever you hear news of suffering, breath in the pain and send your happiness in exchange.  Whenever you see someone suffering, breathe in their misery and send your goodness to them.

The Circle of Suffering

Engaging in a spiritual practice like Tonglen doesn’t preclude taking action to end injustice in the world — consider the beneficent activity of Gandhi or Mother Teresa.

But, like these spiritual luminaries, it’s important to approach helping without hatred, judgment, and blame, which only engender more violence.  Because, we are all caught in a circle of suffering.  Whatever suffering we experience now is due to our past actions.  And, our current negative actions will create our own suffering in the future unless we change ourselves now. While everyone is responsible for their behavior, from a larger perspective, there’s no one person to blame.  Whatever occurs in this life comes about due to a complex web of causes and conditions involving multiple people.  The only way to break the cycle of violence is to have compassion for all.

To see the all-pervading Spirit of Truth, one must be able to love the meanest of all creation as oneself.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Grasping onto an impermanent self and self-cherishing (over-focusing on yourself) are two primary sources of our suffering.  Exchanging our joy and well-being for the suffering of others through the practice of Exchanging Oneself and Others destroys this self-clinging and self-cherisihing and brings true happiness and freedom in its stead.

A Short Guided Practice of Giving and Receiving

In this short video, Pema Chödrön beautifully describes different circumstances in which you can apply the practice of Tonglen and then guides you along.  She begins by saying, “Let’s do Tonglen for a world that is falling apart.”

While it’s only human to despair at times, heaping our own suffering upon the suffering of others will never end suffering.  Instead, cultivate love, compassion, joy, and equanimity and, in so doing, you will become a light for a better world.

How do you cope with the suffering of this world?

There’s more to learn about the practice of Tonglen.  Resources:

I’m glad you are here! Thank you for reading and sharing. If you liked this article, please consider subscribing for free updates by email.  With love, Sandra

Image:  Associated Press

 

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