Always Well Within

Calm Your Mind, Ease Your Heart, Embrace Your Inner Wisdom

Category: Healing Emotions (Page 2 of 8)

Emotionally Absent Mother? How to Heal Childhood Emotional Neglect

Emotionally Absent Mother

I’m delighted to share an interview with author and psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori today.

Every child needs loving connections with others in order to grow into a healthy, happy and well-functioning adult.

Ideally, a feeling of secure connection begins in the womb and is cultivated through infancy, childhood, and adolescence as well.  Even in their pre-verbal years, children sense when connection isn’t forthcoming.

In response, they’ll adapt, but not necessarily in healthy ways. For many, this lack of connection leads to self-defeating emotional and behavioral patterns that continue to govern their lives long into adulthood, making happiness but a distant dream.

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Do You Feel Responsible for Everyone and Everything?

Getting Over Over Responsibility

When you take responsibility for everyone and everything, wittingly or unwittingly, you throw yourself into a cycle of anxiety, stress, and sometimes depression as well.

  • You feel it’s your fault when other people feel bad.
  • You feel you’re responsible for your parents’ marital conflicts.
  • You feel to blame if your child goes off in a bad way.
  • You feel ashamed or fearful when you make a mistake.
  • You feel mortified when something goes wrong at work, even when it’s a team effort.
  • You feel like you’re going to have a nervous breakdown when you hear about turbulent world events.

I know this one well as I tend to instinctively take responsibility for everyone and everything that occurs around me.  Does this belief govern your life and well-being as well?

This is just another fabrication of the mind that has no basis in reality.

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How to Accept Yourself No Matter What

Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance means accepting your whole self without judgment. That includes your weaknesses and your quirky, difficult parts, the ones that you probably try to deny or suppress.

Do you frequently put yourself down, feel critical of your body, or fear that other people will “find you out?”  Your reactions may be so automatic that you don’t even question them.  You may quickly move into self-recrimination without a second thought.

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Self-Love: Why Should It Matter to You?

Why Should Self-Love Matter to You

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”  – Lao Tzu

How do you feel when you hear the phrase “self-love?”  What thoughts come to your mind?

For a very long time, most of my life actually, I felt aversion to the idea of self-love. You could sum it up in one word:  “Yuck.”  The notion of self-love often evokes knee-jerk reactions and judgments like this, doesn’t it?

Resistance, guilt, unworthiness, unease, self-indulgence, aversion, tightening – these are just a few common responses that might arise when you hear someone say, “Love yourself.”

These are the boulders blocking your way on the path to self love.

It’s likely they’ve been installed for a good reason:  To protect you in some mysterious way.

But there comes a time when the pain of constant self-dislike or indifference is no longer bearable.  It’s time to start moving those boulders aside.

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How to Soften Your Fear, Calm Your Heart, and Find Ease Again

How to soften fear through body awareness.

Recently, I’ve found myself asking, “What is the opposite of fear?”

Some people might say courage, but I think this could be a mistake when it comes to deeply embedded fear.  You can easily reinforce fearfulness or trauma by pushing yourself to be “courageous,” or trying to go too fast.

If you would like to listen to me read this post, click below or download the audio.

I find relaxation through body awareness a better starting point to counteract the kind of fear that’s been frozen in time, implanted in the body, and hidden in deeper recesses of the mind.  Fear is about contraction, isn’t it?  Whereas relaxation through body awareness allows for expansion.

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Self-Compassion: The Best Way to Calm Your Inner Critic

Self-Compassion + the Inner Critic

I’m delighted to share a guest post today from Maureen Cooper from The Path to Self-Compassion online course.

Our inner critic can be very effective in making us feel inadequate and worthless. Learning to tame it through self-compassion is the very best thing we can do for ourselves. Here is my own story of how I  experienced this for myself, and used self-compassion to calm my own inner critic.

Some years ago, when I was in my early thirties, I found myself drawn to the baby department of a large London store. For quite some time, I wandered around gazing longingly at the tiny garments and prettily decorated furniture. Gradually I became aware that I was avoiding the other shoppers and trying to hide myself from view. I kept looking around nervously. Slowly it dawned on me that I was afraid of being thrown out, exposed as a fraud, called out for not being a mother—disputed as even being a ‘real’ woman.

This memory still has the power to move me, and causes me to shudder even now. I had been told a few weeks earlier that it was very unlikely that I would be able to have children of my own. An infection in my fallopian tubes had caused them to close and buckle and the likelihood of them ever being healthy again was remote.

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