Always Well Within

Calm Your Mind, Ease Your Heart, Embrace Your Inner Wisdom

Category: Healing Emotions (Page 2 of 8)

How to Free Yourself from Unhappy Personality Patterns

Personality Patterns

Do you sometimes feel like you’re stuck in the same place, repeating the same personality patterns, and reacting to others in the same tiresome ways?

Deeply held proclivities from childhood exert a powerful influence on adult life, far more than you might imagine.  After years of repetition, certain ways of thinking, speaking, and acting become automatic even though they constantly create distress, drama, and discouragement.

There is a way out. It begins by getting to know your core wound and the specific survival strategies you embraced as a child and brought into your adult life.  That might seem impossible or too complex, but I have good news for you.

Steven Kessler’s new book, The 5 Personality Patterns (affiliate link), provides a lucid description of the main emotional survival styles used by most people, as well as a clear map showing how to heal and transform them. It’s written expressly for the normal peeps like you and me rather than clinicians— easy to understand, but not sparse on details.

Let me tell you, I resonated so strongly with the information presented in this book.  The insights I’ve gained have accelerated my self-understanding as well as my understanding of those close to me.  I’m keeping this gem close at hand, re-reading and studying the relevant sections and using the healing exercises for my particular patterns every day.

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Do You Need a Break?

Relaxation | Break

Do you need a break? I do.

With all the challenges I’ve faced and continue to face this year, I’m finding I don’t have the juice to write.  I could force myself to write, but the words wouldn’t be coming from my soul right now. Not that they always must, but I want them to, at least a good part of the time.

This year seems to be challenging many people.  According to one system of astrology, Saturn governs the year from March to March.

Saturn is known as the teacher, taskmaster, and lesson-giver, especially life lessons that result from past karma. Saturn doesn’t make things easy.  It confronts you with your patterns.  While that might be good on the long run, on the short run you might want to run away.

If your life has been rocky too, you might want to consider how you’re relating to the lessons that Saturn may be unceremoniously shoving in your face.

  • Are you shrinking from them?
  • Are you opening to them?
  • Are you being true to yourself?
  • Are you giving yourself extra care?
  • Do you need a break?

I know I need to care for and strengthen myself because I tend to be fragile and shatter easily.  However, I also bounce back, so don’t worry about me.  In the coming months, I especially want to see how I can become more resilient.

In terms of writing for you on Always Well Within, I’ll wait for my muse to return instead of pushing myself.  I want to write an in-depth article on emotional survival patterns, but I don’t know when.

I’ll still write and send out my monthly e-letter, Wild Arisings, at the New Moon. If you want to stay in touch, sign up here.  You’ll also receive access to the Always Well Within Library of free self-discovery resources — ebooks, mini-guides, and worksheets.

Here’s a list of some of the best posts from the last 12 months, in case you need extra support while I take a break.

Thanks for your patience and understanding.  Ironically, once I let go of any pressure to write, I often receive a deluge of inspiration.  Space and creativity strongly interlink in my life.  We’ll see how it goes this time.

Do you need a break?  Are you ready to take one or is something holding you back?

Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious!  Don’t forget to sign up for my e-letter and get access to all the free self-development resources (e-books, mini-guides + worksheets) in the Always Well Within Library. May you be happy, well, and safe – always.  With love, Sandra









Emotionally Absent Mother? How to Heal Childhood Emotional Neglect

Emotionally Absent Mother

I’m delighted to share an interview with author and psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori today.

Every child needs loving connections with others in order to grow into a healthy, happy and well-functioning adult.

Ideally, a feeling of secure connection begins in the womb and is cultivated through infancy, childhood, and adolescence as well.  Even in their pre-verbal years, children sense when connection isn’t forthcoming.

In response, they’ll adapt, but not necessarily in healthy ways. For many, this lack of connection leads to self-defeating emotional and behavioral patterns that continue to govern their lives long into adulthood, making happiness but a distant dream.

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Do You Feel Responsible for Everyone and Everything?

Getting Over Over Responsibility

When you take responsibility for everyone and everything, wittingly or unwittingly, you throw yourself into a cycle of anxiety, stress, and sometimes depression as well.

  • You feel it’s your fault when other people feel bad.
  • You feel you’re responsible for your parents’ marital conflicts.
  • You feel to blame if your child goes off in a bad way.
  • You feel ashamed or fearful when you make a mistake.
  • You feel mortified when something goes wrong at work, even when it’s a team effort.
  • You feel like you’re going to have a nervous breakdown when you hear about turbulent world events.

I know this one well as I tend to instinctively take responsibility for everyone and everything that occurs around me.  Does this belief govern your life and well-being as well?

This is just another fabrication of the mind that has no basis in reality.

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How to Accept Yourself No Matter What


Self-acceptance means accepting your whole self without judgment. That includes your weaknesses and your quirky, difficult parts, the ones that you probably try to deny or suppress.

Do you frequently put yourself down, feel critical of your body, or fear that other people will “find you out?”  Your reactions may be so automatic that you don’t even question them.  You may quickly move into self-recrimination without a second thought.

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Self-Love: Why Should It Matter to You?

Why Should Self-Love Matter to You

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”  – Lao Tzu

How do you feel when you hear the phrase “self-love?”  What thoughts come to your mind?

For a very long time, most of my life actually, I felt aversion to the idea of self-love. You could sum it up in one word:  “Yuck.”  The notion of self-love often evokes knee-jerk reactions and judgments like this, doesn’t it?

Resistance, guilt, unworthiness, unease, self-indulgence, aversion, tightening – these are just a few common responses that might arise when you hear someone say, “Love yourself.”

These are the boulders blocking your way on the path to self love.

It’s likely they’ve been installed for a good reason:  To protect you in some mysterious way.

But there comes a time when the pain of constant self-dislike or indifference is no longer bearable.  It’s time to start moving those boulders aside.

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