Category Archives: Personal Development

Three Essential Elements of Personal Power

May 19, 2013 3:45 am \ 23 Comments \

Monarch Butterfly

Last night, I went to an introductory talk on Sexual Shamanism and Conscious Sensuality.  Apparently, we’re so disconnected from our bodies, our senses, our sensuality, and our sexuality that many people will pay upwards of $3,000 to tune back in.

Sexuality workships aren’t groundbreaking, however.  Research into the human sexual response began in the 50′s with Masters and Johnson, and people have been exploring ever since, and long before then too.  But, now there are new buzz words like “Shamanism” or “Consciousness” giving the topic a slightly different twist.

I took away some new perspectives from the talk, for which I am grateful, but I quickly tired of the overused lingo.  In particular, the repetition of the phrase “harvest your power” annoyed me to no end.

One of the listeners expressed a concern about harvesting one’s power.  She thought it might increase ego, the opposite aim of spiritual practice. The presenter reassured her that humility and integrity are essential to personal power. So no worries! But I wasn’t fully convinced.  Because, honestly, any approach can be used to bolster ego.  Ego is clever in its relentless attempts at self-deception.

As one way to harvest their personal power, people were encouraged to stand up in front of the group and share their most secret sexual fantasy.  If you’re an inhibited person, this exercise may indeed make you feel more powerful, at least momentarily.  Or you might just feel stupid or embarrassed and want to hide in a hole.

“Is this the true path to personal power?”  I wondered.  Don’t get me wrong.  I think this type of workshop serves a purpose, and can definitely increase your confidence, self-acceptance, sense of ease, and your ability to experience pleasure.  It just may not be the whole banana.

Three Essential Elements of Personal Power

All this talk about harvesting power stirred me to clarify my own definition of personal power.  Before you slap down several thousands dollars to learn how to harvest your power, wouldn’t it be smart to first know what personal power means to you?  Just to be sure you get the right thing?

My version of personal power is slightly different than standing behind a microphone and revealing your sexual secrets or what it feels like to be turned on to a group of 60 people.  These are three essential elements of personal power from my point of view:

  • A Boundless Wisdom that sees the world and the self as it is, ever-changing and inherently non-existent. This means recognizing there are two aspects of mind:  the essence of mind and the appearances of mind (thoughts and emotions).  Then choosing to rest in the essence of mind rather than becoming entangled in all the projections like hope and fear, negative emotions, stories and dramas.  Naturally, this takes time and practice.
  • Immeasurable Compassion, which expresses itself through the Four Boundless Qualities of love, compassion, joy and impartiality and extends to all living beings.  These are qualities that you too can learn to cultivate.
  • An Infinite Power or Capability to liberate others from suffering and delusion, once we’ve actualized these qualities to a greater degree.

Everyone of us is naturally endowed with these three profound qualities, but usually we are so caught up in the projections of mind we fail to realize or cultivate them.  The way to practice them is through meditation (mindfulness and awareness) and compassion practice.

When these three qualities begin to manifest, even to a small degree, your mind and life will begin to change.  You will find:

  • self-acceptance
  • an ability to let go of expectations and judgments
  • less negativity
  • a sense of being well in your own skin
  • confidence
  • kindness, love, compassion, and joy
  • a feeling of being more in touch with yourself and with others
  • a sense of responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions.
  • feeling as though you are directing your life rather than being constantly swept into a rapidly running current
  • able to unfold into whatever experience presents itself in life
  • humor and spaciousness
  • integrity and authenticity

In short, wisdom and compassion are the essence of true power.  True power is embodied, in my opinion, by people like the Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Aung Sang Sui Kyi, but their aspiration isn’t necessarily to achieve personal power.

True power is also expressed in everyday acts of kindness when our ego is not in the way:  caring for an ill or dying parent, helping an elderly person carry a heavy shopping bag, encouraging a child.

An incredible potential lies within you ready to be unleashed.  Are you ready to release the floodgates holding back limitless love and profound wisdom and discover a greater measure of personal power?

What are your thoughts on personal power?  Do you aspire to have personal power?  What’s your definition of personal power?

Writing Prompt:  Tammy Strobel

I’m so glad you are here!  If you liked this article, please consider subscribing for free updates by email. And, please help get the word out by sharing this post.  With love, Sandra

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Cultivating Genuine Compassion: Begin with Impartiality

May 5, 2013 3:37 am \ 14 Comments \

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Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it’s beauty. – Albert Einstein

Discovering true happiness and freedom depends entirely on developing an all-encompassing compassion.

Genuine compassion is said to encompass four qualities:

  • Love (sometimes called “loving kindness”)
  • Compassion
  • Joy
  • Equanimity

When these qualities are developed to their fullest, they are known as the Four Immeasurables or Four Boundless Attitudes, meaning that we extend them to all without bias.

As you cultivate these qualities and make them more immeasurable, negative emotions like anger, attachment, jealousy, and partiality will gradually diminish. In their place, you will uncover your kind heart and a more enduring sense of happiness.  At the same time, your relationships with others will come to be characterized by greater warmth, friendliness, and clarity.  Sounds good, don’t you think?

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Walking the Labyrinth to Your True Self

May 2, 2013 4:25 am \ 16 Comments \

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“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” ― May Sarton

What is authenticity? Can we ever be fully authentic?

I have been contemplating these questions since reading Who Are You? A Primer on Defining What You Stand For.

Authenticity is not necessarily easy because we’ve all been programmed in one way or the other: to please, to get ahead, or even to fail. Thus, even when we strive to be conscious, we may respond habitually to a person or situation. These habitual patterns are deeply embedded in our brain, and, some would say, in our intricate cellular memory.

For example, I sincerely advocate kindness. Am I always kind? No, I confess, I’m not. I’m human, I’m fallible just like you. I would bet very few of us are able to perfectly match our ideals and actions.

Be Relentless in Your Pursuit of Authenticity

Although it’s challenging to be continually authentic, we can get closer if we are committed and relentless in our pursuit of presence and coherence. And, I think it’s very important that we strive to do so. Why? Because living in integrity makes life so much easier for both you and those around you.  Living in integrity will change the world.

It turns out to be just the opposite from what you might imagine.  You might fear rejection if you follow your inner promptings. That could happen, but ironically, it won’t matter as much. Because, the more you are true to yourself, the more you will feel, as the French say, “well in your skin.”  You will feel more at ease, content, complete, and good about yourself. The more you are true to yourself, the more you will want to be true to yourself.

But this is not an egotistical pursuit.  The closer you will get to your true self, the more you will find kindness and compassion.

Let’s be honest though, it takes time to erode away the conditioning, and consistently express what’s true for you. Those who operate on automatic may not even be aware of the disparity, but a certain tension always accompanies them.

Being authentic takes courage. It means:

  • Getting quiet and listening to your deepest self.
  • Observing your patterns; the ones that obstruct authenticity.
  • The willingness to continually practice being true to yourself.
  • Being honesty with yourself and others.
  • Striving to be congruent in your words and actions.
  • Accepting your foibles, and loving yourself anyway.

Authenticity may be a buzzword often used these days in marketing as well as personal development, but that doesn’t make it any less essential.  The commitment to authenticity is one of the most important steps you will ever take towards finding true happiness and freedom.

Becoming Who You Truly Are

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ― C.G. Jung

Learning to be authentic is a continuing, perhaps even lifelong process. Your true self may only speak in whispers, while your conditioned self screams at top volume. The voice of your authentic self may float quietly at the edge of your consciousness barely perceptible unless you are intent on hearing. Your inner critic may dominate, or your insecure child may throw a tantrum sweeping you into confusion and distress.

You will need to peel away many layers of conditioning to find and express your true self. There will be many times when you stray from the path of authenticity. This is par for the course. What matters is that you recognize the pattern and return to your true self as soon as you can. This will prevent many forms of adversity from taking place.

To find your true self, you must continually follow the thread of your inner voice, skillfully distinguishing between egoistic lures and true wisdom. Ultimately, you will discover there’s no permanent self to be found.  Just a continuing awareness watching the ever-changing display of mind and life.

A Possibility

It always helps to have friends on the path.  If you feel you need support getting connecting with your authentic self, finding your deepesting calling, and expressing it in the world, you might be interested in the Fire of Love Experience created and facilitated by my friend Satya Colombo.  He calls the experience, “an epic voyage of awakening, flow, and rediscovering your soul’s calling. This program is not for everyone, but it might be for you if you would like to find and live your inner truth and have the support of a like-minded community.  If you are curious, please read more.  The program begins May 7th.  Please note this is an affiliate link, but I only want you to explore it if it feels right to you.

What are your thoughts about authenticity?

I’m so glad you are here!  If you liked this article, please consider subscribing for free updates by email.  With love, Sandra

Image:  Michael Gabler

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