Category Archives: Mindfulness & Awareness

Step Into Uncertainty

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What is life?  It is the flash of a firefly in the night.  It is the breath of a buffalo in the winter time.  It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.  – Crowfoot, April 1980, on his deathbed.

I have been waylaid for more than a month.  First, my back took a u-turn.  Then, a virus invaded my respiratory system. To protect me, my brilliant body created copious amounts of phlegm and its counterpart, the unending hacking cough. In her thoughtful hypervigilance, she seems to have forgotten to turn these off.

Life narrowed to bursts of work alternated with rest and multicolored moments of presence, embracing whatever happened to appear.

All this distress, and the temptation to wish it wasn’t so, made me wonder why we strive so eagerly for the illusion of a permanent happiness as if we actually have control.  Life unfolds our past karma – the result of our very own thoughts, words, and deeds – and so we never know what will come next until it surprisingly appears.  It might be joy or sorrow. It could be wellness or pain. Even death could unexpectedly follow this particular instant.

Don’t Wait for Happiness

Please don’t wait for happiness or imagine it’s right around the corner. Instead, find nourishment and truth in whatever circumstances arise. What awaits this body is the discomfort of disease, old age, and death.  The law of attraction people may decidedly protest, but have you ever seen anyone become immortal after reciting affirmations day in and day out?

When the time of death arrives, how exactly will this mind of mine respond?  Will I open to death’s naked reality or pull away in attachment or fear?  Will I rest in my heart or be embroiled in transitory thoughts and emotions that have little importance or reality?  This illness told me there’s far more mind training to be done if I wish to live with awareness and recognize whatever appears as its magical display.

I know the state of my mind will be all that matters at that watershed moment as I step from this life into the uncertainty of the next stage.  All the possessions I’ve accumulated and ordinary accomplishments will be left behind, irrelevant and meaningless like a handful of dust or a forgotten dream.

The  change and uncertainty that occurs at death is mimicked constantly in each moment that passes by.  Now’s the time to learn to be present and step into uncertainty with confidence and ease.  Then death will be nothing to fear.

Life lives in tiny moments, which exist right now.  When you die, will you have regrets because you didn’t live in this precious now?

Thank you for reading and sharing!  If you liked this entry, please consider subscribing for free updates by email.  With love, Sandra

How to Cope with the Suffering of This World

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Suffering abounds in this world.  Once you open your eyes to all the pain and sorrow, you might start crying and never stop.

The Newtown school shootings, Indian bus rapes, minefields, and modern day slavery pushed me into moments of despair.  Sometimes, all the suffering seems too much to bear.

The Practice of Exchanging Oneself and Others

It is in these times of sheer hopelessness and utter desolation, that I especially turn to the practice of Exchanging Oneself and Others, known as “Tonglen” in Tibetan.  You too can find refuge in this simple practice of breathing in suffering and sending your happiness out on the breath.

“Sometimes, visualize that your heart is a brilliant ball of light.  As you breath out, it radiates rays of while light in all directions, carrying your happiness to all beings.  As you breathe in, their suffering, negativity, and afflictions come toward you in the form of dense, black light, which is absorbed into your heart and disappears in its brilliant while light without a trace, relieving all beings of their pain and sorrow.” – The Heart of Compassion, Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

By engaging in the practice of Exchanging Oneself and Others, you gradually dissolve your own self-cherishing and purify your negative patterns.  The practice simultaneously reveals your compassionate heart and gives birth to an unstoppable love as vast as the sky.  Tonglen will expand your capacity in ways you may have never imagined.

The Impact of Exchanging Oneself and Others

Is Tonglen just a mental placebo or could it really have an effect?  The great spiritual masters tell us:

“By sincerely training in the meditation practice of exchanging suffering with happiness, you will eventually become capable of actually taking on others’ illnesses and curing them, and of giving them your happiness in reality.” – The Heart of Compassion, Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

It’s not necessary to wait until the news of suffering overwhelms you.  You can practice this approach of giving and receiving every day and at any time – on the meditation cushion and in daily life. Whether you are happy or sad, well or ill.  Whenever you hear news of suffering, breath in the pain and send your happiness in exchange.  Whenever you see someone suffering, breathe in their misery and send your goodness to them.

The Circle of Suffering

Engaging in a spiritual practice like Tonglen doesn’t preclude taking action to end injustice in the world — consider the beneficent activity of Gandhi or Mother Teresa.

But, like these spiritual luminaries, it’s important to approach helping without hatred, judgment, and blame, which only engender more violence.  Because, we are all caught in a circle of suffering.  Whatever suffering we experience now is due to our past actions.  And, our current negative actions will create our own suffering in the future unless we change ourselves now. While everyone is responsible for their behavior, from a larger perspective, there’s no one person to blame.  Whatever occurs in this life comes about due to a complex web of causes and conditions involving multiple people.  The only way to break the cycle of violence is to have compassion for all.

To see the all-pervading Spirit of Truth, one must be able to love the meanest of all creation as oneself.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Grasping onto an impermanent self and self-cherishing (over-focusing on yourself) are two primary sources of our suffering.  Exchanging our joy and well-being for the suffering of others through the practice of Exchanging Oneself and Others destroys this self-clinging and self-cherisihing and brings true happiness and freedom in its stead.

A Short Guided Practice of Giving and Receiving

In this short video, Pema Chödrön beautifully describes different circumstances in which you can apply the practice of Tonglen and then guides you along.  She begins by saying, “Let’s do Tonglen for a world that is falling apart.”

While it’s only human to despair at times, heaping our own suffering upon the suffering of others will never end suffering.  Instead, cultivate love, compassion, joy, and equanimity and, in so doing, you will become a light for a better world.

How do you cope with the suffering of this world?

There’s more to learn about the practice of Tonglen.  Resources:

I’m glad you are here! Thank you for reading and sharing. If you liked this article, please consider subscribing for free updates by email.  With love, Sandra

Image:  Associated Press

 

The Journey Through Grief

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In the midst of grief, it’s hard to see to the other side.  I offer this quote for your consideration.  May it serve you in some way.

“Grief may be the greatest healing experience of a lifetime. It’s certainly one of the hottest fires we will encounter. It penetrates the hard layers of our self-protection, plunges us into the sadness, fear, and despair we have tried so hard to avoid. Grief is unpredictable, uncontrollable. There are no shortcuts around grief. The only way is right through the middle. Some say time heals, but that’s a half-truth. Time alone doesn’t heal. Time and attention heal.

In grief we access parts of ourselves that were somehow unavailable to us in the past. With awareness, the journey through grief becomes a path to wholeness. Grief can lead us to a profound understanding that reaches beyond our individual loss. It opens us to the most essential truth of our lives: the truth of impermanence, the causes of suffering, and the illusion of separateness. When we meet these experiences with mercy and awareness, we begin to appreciate that we are more than the grief. We are what the grief is moving through. In the end, we may still fear death, but we don’t fear living nearly as much. In surrendering to our grief, we have learned to give ourselves more fully to life.”

Frank Ostaseski is the founder of Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco, the first Buddhist hospice in America.  From Buddhist Teachers Respond to the Newtown Tragedy, Tricycle Magazine

I appreciate your presence!  Please consider subscribing for free updates by email.  With love, Sandra