Always Well Within

Calm Your Mind, Ease Your Heart, Embrace Your Inner Wisdom

Author: Sandra Pawula (Page 1 of 98)

How to Soothe the Pain of Betrayal

How to soothe the pain of betrayal

Almost everyone faces betrayal during their lifetime, usually several times over.

Betrayal might come about due to the disloyalty of a parent, a child, a sibling, a partner, a friend, a boss, a teacher, or a spiritual mentor.  Whatever the cause, a breach of faith can, and often does, devastate you to the core.

So how do you soothe the pain of betrayal?

4 Ways to Soften the Initial Impact of Betrayal

Let’s start by looking at some ways to help yourself through the initial days after the revelation.  Often that’s when the sting may feel stronger than you could ever bear.  You might find yourself overcome by hurt, sadness, anger, and fear.

You need deep self-care in these moments and skillful ways to manage your emotions so you don’t perpetuate the pain.  Here are a few suggestions.

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9 Quick Communication Tips That Will Improve Your Relationships

9 Quick Communication Tips

Few of us were taught communication skills in school, yet poor communication brings so much disharmony, distress, and discouragement in our relationships.  It can ruin your chance for success on the job or in your business as well.

How would you honestly rate your communication skills?  Do you experience a lot of drama, stress, and frustration after interpersonal communications at home or at work?

If you do, this is something you can change.  Communication skills can be learned. And when you learn how to communicate clearly and compassionately, your sense of confidence, ease, and happiness will increase at the same time.

I’ve been on a campaign to improve my own communication skills over the last six months.  I know I can be reactive, finish other people’s sentences, and jump to wrong conclusions.  None of which leads to building trust, rapport, and deeper connection.

My bi-monthly women’s group offers the perfect opportunity to practice effective communication skills.  We call each other out, in a kind way, if we slip away from using “I” statements.  We practice paraphrasing what another person has said to be sure we’ve understood it.  And, there’s a specific model in place for clearing negative thoughts and feelings.

Now, I’m able to bring these skills into my everyday life.  In fact, they’re gradually becoming the automatic fall back.  I’d like to give you a glimpse of what I’ve learned because it’s helped me so much.  I bet it could help you too.

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How to Create a Simple and Supportive Meditation Space

How to create a simple and supportive meditation space

Recently, I ran across a Pinterest pin with a a checklist for creating your meditation space.  The pin listed items divided up by the senses plus some extras, like these:

  • Calming pictures
  • Ornaments
  • Meditation Mp3
  • Relaxing playlist
  • Oil diffuser
  • Oil burner
  • Incense
  • Blanket
  • Rug
  • Cushions
  • Herbal tea
  • Bells
  • Fresh flowers
  • Plants
  • Meditation cushion

Those items might be nice if you want to create a cozy space for self-discovery, personal reflection, or listening to the whispers of your heart.  But, believe me, not a single one of these items is necessary for mindfulness meditation.  You don’t even need a room.

To be clear, I’m speaking about the practice of mindfulness meditation, not meditations or guided visualizations meant to help you relax, increase your self esteem, or improve your body image.  Those can be helpful, but they’re completely different from mindfulness meditation.

The only thing you truly need to meditate is your mind.  Meditation is about working with your mind, whatever the environment.  However, in the beginning it’s helpful to have a relatively quiet and supportive ambiance in order to establish and stabilize your practice.

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How to Calm Stormy Emotions and Reclaim Your Peace

How to Calm Stormy Emotions and Reclaim Your Peace

It’s good to be in touch with your emotions, right?  Not always.

If you become easily overwhelmed or flooded by emotions, so much so that you have trouble regaining your calm, you may need to learn emotional regulation.

Because out-of-control emotions tend to trigger more out-of-control emotions, which usually leads to more distress and a greater tendency to repeat the same pattern in the future.  And, the regular expression of strong emotions can become addictive, it may even re-traumatize you.

For whatever reasons — trauma, highly sensitive person, or INFJ on the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator — I’m highly influenced by my emotions and the emotional states of others.  I’m easily triggered, I spontaneously cry, and sometimes it’s not easy to recenter myself.

I’ve always labeled my emotional nature as “bad.”  Feeling ashamed, I would try to hold in my emotions. But for me, that’s like holding back Niagara Falls.  It only creates more tension.

This is why I’m gradually learning to better regulate my emotions.

Emotional regulation isn’t about denying or suppressing emotions, tightening and constricting.  It’s learning how much emotion you can field without getting overloaded, how to calm yourself if you do feel overwhelmed, and how to pace yourself so you’re not constantly dipping in and out of upset.  It means listening to and learning to work with your emotions in manageable doses.

Let’s look at simple yet effective ways to slow down a flood of emotions, whether you’re a highly sensitive person or not.

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28 Journal Prompts That Will Change the Way You See Yourself

Self Discovery February 2018

I thought it would be fun to try something different in February:  a personal discovery challenge.  I’ve gathered together 28 prompts to help you (and me) explore, learn, and grow.  I’m calling it Personal Discovery February 2018 or in hashtag land: #personaldiscoveryfebruary2018.

I’ve designed this as a journaling challenge, but you could also use the prompts to inspire your photography or artwork.  The idea is to journal each day in response to the prompt.  You could write one word, a few paragraphs, a page, or even pages.  Whatever suits you.  And if you prefer, you can take a photo or create artwork in response to the day’s prompt.  You can interpret the prompts however you wish.

Do as much or as little as you like.  Start in the beginning, middle, or near the end.  There’s no pressure or expectations.

If you have time though, I hope you’ll share your insights with us because your story is important.  Sharing your story can help you heal.  And, sharing your story can help others heal as well.

Here are the prompts followed by how we can share with each another as a community.

Self Discovery Challenge Prompts February 2018

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15 Things You Need to Know About Willpower

How to develop willpower.

Do you feel you don’t have enough willpower?

You’re not alone.  Almost everyone feels they lack self-control.  And feelings of hopelessness when it comes to personal resolve have only intensified because temptations have multiplied in modern times and dog us at every turn.

In their New York Times bestseller, Willpower:  Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength (affiliate link), Roy Baumeister and John Tierney reveal that one-fourth of our waking hours are spent resisting urges.  That puts our personal struggle with self-control into perspective, doesn’t it?

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