Author Archives: Sandra Pawula

Three Essential Elements of Personal Power

May 19, 2013 3:45 am \ 20 Comments \

Monarch Butterfly

Last night, I went to an introductory talk on Sexual Shamanism and Conscious Sensuality.  Apparently, we’re so disconnected from our bodies, our senses, our sensuality, and our sexuality that many people will pay upwards of $3,000 to tune back in.

Sexuality workships aren’t groundbreaking, however.  Research into the human sexual response began in the 50′s with Masters and Johnson, and people have been exploring ever since, and long before then too.  But, now there are new buzz words like “Shamanism” or “Consciousness” giving the topic a slightly different twist.

I took away some new perspectives from the talk, for which I am grateful, but I quickly tired of the overused lingo.  In particular, the repetition of the phrase “harvest your power” annoyed me to no end.

One of the listeners expressed a concern about harvesting one’s power.  She thought it might increase ego, the opposite aim of spiritual practice. The presenter reassured her that humility and integrity are essential to personal power. So no worries! But I wasn’t fully convinced.  Because, honestly, any approach can be used to bolster ego.  Ego is clever in its relentless attempts at self-deception.

As one way to harvest their personal power, people were encouraged to stand up in front of the group and share their most secret sexual fantasy.  If you’re an inhibited person, this exercise may indeed make you feel more powerful, at least momentarily.  Or you might just feel stupid or embarrassed and want to hide in a hole.

“Is this the true path to personal power?”  I wondered.  Don’t get me wrong.  I think this type of workshop serves a purpose, and can definitely increase your confidence, self-acceptance, sense of ease, and your ability to experience pleasure.  It just may not be the whole banana.

Three Essential Elements of Personal Power

All this talk about harvesting power stirred me to clarify my own definition of personal power.  Before you slap down several thousands dollars to learn how to harvest your power, wouldn’t it be smart to first know what personal power means to you?  Just to be sure you get the right thing?

My version of personal power is slightly different than standing behind a microphone and revealing your sexual secrets or what it feels like to be turned on to a group of 60 people.  These are three essential elements of personal power from my point of view:

  • A Boundless Wisdom that sees the world and the self as it is, ever-changing and inherently non-existent. This means recognizing there are two aspects of mind:  the essence of mind and the appearances of mind (thoughts and emotions).  Then choosing to rest in the essence of mind rather than becoming entangled in all the projections like hope and fear, negative emotions, stories and dramas.  Naturally, this takes time and practice.
  • Immeasurable Compassion, which expresses itself through the Four Boundless Qualities of love, compassion, joy and impartiality and extends to all living beings.  These are qualities that you too can learn to cultivate.
  • An Infinite Power or Capability to liberate others from suffering and delusion, once we’ve actualized these qualities to a greater degree.

Everyone of us is naturally endowed with these three profound qualities, but usually we are so caught up in the projections of mind we fail to realize or cultivate them.  The way to practice them is through meditation (mindfulness and awareness) and compassion practice.

When these three qualities begin to manifest, even to a small degree, your mind and life will begin to change.  You will find:

  • self-acceptance
  • an ability to let go of expectations and judgments
  • less negativity
  • a sense of being well in your own skin
  • confidence
  • kindness, love, compassion, and joy
  • a feeling of being more in touch with yourself and with others
  • a sense of responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions.
  • feeling as though you are directing your life rather than being constantly swept into a rapidly running current
  • able to unfold into whatever experience presents itself in life
  • humor and spaciousness
  • integrity and authenticity

In short, wisdom and compassion are the essence of true power.  True power is embodied, in my opinion, by people like the Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Aung Sang Sui Kyi, but their aspiration isn’t necessarily to achieve personal power.

True power is also expressed in everyday acts of kindness when our ego is not in the way:  caring for an ill or dying parent, helping an elderly person carry a heavy shopping bag, encouraging a child.

An incredible potential lies within you ready to be unleashed.  Are you ready to release the floodgates holding back limitless love and profound wisdom and discover a greater measure of personal power?

What are your thoughts on personal power?  Do you aspire to have personal power?  What’s your definition of personal power?

I’m so glad you are here!  If you liked this article, please consider subscribing for free updates by email. And, please help get the word out by sharing this post.  With love, Sandra

Posted in: Personal Development \ Tagged: , , , , ,

A Book Lover Confronts Simplicity: Letting Go of Books

May 13, 2013 4:29 am \ 34 Comments \

love-of-books

If you love books, trimming your library may be one of the hardest steps you take on your path towards greater simplicity.  But, think about it for a moment.  How often do actually return to a book in your collection?

After hauling all our books cross-country in 2001 (20 boxes), my husband and I sold or gave almost all our books away when we moved to France in 2006.  We “loaned” around 500 books on Buddhism to The Center for Wisdom and Compassion as I couldn’t quite bear to make it final.  I sold my other titles – an assortment of health, personal development, and odd topics – as used books on Amazon.

I loved having a vast reference library on Buddhism.  Ironically, sadness and attachment welled up in my heart as the truck with all “our” books on Buddhism – all about non-attachment and impermanence – drove away from our apartment.

It was just a temporary feeling.  Soon we set off across the ocean with our 50 remaining books in tow, a small collection of core Buddhist texts.  I didn’t have a second thought for all the books we left behind.

Three years and three months later, that heavy suitcase of Buddhist texts traveled with us once again across one and a half oceans with a continent in between when we moved to Hawai’i at the end of 2009.  Since then, this essential book collection has ballooned to include titles on health, happiness, and healthy house design – probably 150 or 200 volumes in total.  This doesn’t include my husband’s books, just mine.

Live What You Read

Fortunately, the Kindle came to my rescue a few years ago.  The Kindle represents an excellent solution for me because I’m sensitive to must, mold, dust, and printer’s ink (though better than before). Frankly, a library is a far better answer in terms of the environment, but it itsn’t a good option for me.

Despite having this electronic wonder, I don’t buy books willy-nilly for the Kindle.  I limit my book purchases because I think it’s important that I try to practice and live what I read instead of simply reading more and more.  And, in fact, all the wisdom I truly need is contained in a handful of books.

When I started my simplicity experiments last year, I reluctantly looked at my current library knowing most of it would have to go.  I began by attempting to divide my books into three categories:

  • Must have
  • Maybe
  • Give away, sell, or throw away

But, I didn’t make much headway.  I ended up with about 10 books in the give away pile and another 10 in the to be sold pile. Everything else was in limbo.

Go At Your Own Speed

This is what I discovered.  At least for book lovers, letting go of books is a process that takes time.  It won’t necessarily happen the first time you give it a shot. As time moved on, I became acclimated to the idea.  I found a few more to move over into the good-bye pile.  Then, a few more.  I promised myself that I could repurchase a book on Kindle if I really needed it.

When I recently moved into a 450 square foot studio with my husband, I allocated two shelves for books.  I’ve made a big dent into paring my books down to fit on these two shelves.  I’m a bit of a trickster though as they are wide shelves that can accommodate two rows of books.  I’ll probably end up with about 75 books.

Is this a failure or a success?  I consider it a positive step forward.  I can envision letting go of a few more of these books as time goes on, but I don’t feel I have to right now.  Downsizing is individual.  You make the rules that work for you.

Here are a few lessons to take away from my experience:

  1. You won’t necessarily miss most of  your books when they are gone.
  2. You can repurchase a book if you really need it.
  3. You’re library will just grow bigger and bigger unless you’re intentional about it.
  4. Downsizing is a process.  Go at a speed that works for you.
  5. Downsizing is individual.  You don’t need to go to an extreme – like zero books – unless that truly suits you.
  6. Most importantly, live what you learn instead of mindlessly devouring more and more.

Book Giveaway:  Naked in Eden

Naken_In_EdenAs I learn to let go of my books, I would like to pass on some of my favorite titles to one of my readers – I’m so grateful for your support!  This week, I’m giving away a hard copy of Naked in Eden, My Adventure and Awakening in the Australian Rainforest by Robin Easton.  Naked in Eden is a memoir, wild adventure, celebration of nature, and profound inner journey.  This is the Amazon description:

“’You must be mad to live in the bloody jungle, mates.’ Not mad exactly, just disconnected and seeking more meaning and adventure in their lives. An eccentric free spirit who never quite fit in, Robin Easton saw her soul mate in Ian—a rugged, rowdy Aussie who wanted out of the confines of his family’s business. Together they planned their Great Escape: to live off the grid in a remote area of Australia’s Daintree Rainforest.

But as their Jeep wound its way closer to the tiny black dot on the map, Robin couldn’t have fathomed just how the jungle would test her mentally, physically, and spiritually. As she came face to face with her fears of deadly snakes, leeches, and man-eating crocodiles, she began to unravel the mysteries of life and death, love and loss, and nature and humankind. Hidden in the forest mist, she discovered our biological relationship to the natural world and our unique place in it.”

This is my personal copy so it has some underlining and margin notes, but is generally in great condition.  Leave a comment about your own inner quest, travel adventure, or experience downsizing your library on this post by Friday, May 17th at 8:00 p.m. PST to be entered into a drawing to win this book.  One person will be chosen randomly to receive the book, however, books can only be sent to addresses in the United States and Canada.  Please make sure to leave an e-mail address with your comment so I can get in touch with you.  I may continue with more book giveaways if there is interest.

Be sure to sign up for Robin Easton’s Naken In Eden Facebook page for an incredible stream of wildlife photography, inspiration, and wisdom.  That way, everyone wins!

Looking forward to your thoughts on adventure, transformation, or simplicity.

I’m so glad you are here!  If you liked this article, please consider subscribing for free updates by email. And, please help get the word out by sharing this post.  With love, Sandra

 

Posted in: Simplicity Experiments \ Tagged: ,

Are Your Fighting or Flowing?

May 9, 2013 4:29 am \ 15 Comments \

Tree in Storm

I felt struck by lightening when I suddenly became chronically ill in 2004.  I fought the change with all my might.  I wanted this new distress to have a name so I could fix it and make it go away.  I spend untold hours and dollars exploring solutions from doctors to healers, vitamins to herbs. All these  remedies, the ones that work for everyone else, only made more worse.

I didn’t look within to consider how I could elegantly adapt to the new circumstances.  I didn’t consider lifestyle factors that might be contributing to the situation, or deeply seated, stale patterns that might be influencing my way of being.  I was stuck in place, running like mad, and suffering more and more.

This was primarily due to fear.  I clung to the belief, “There’s nothing wrong with me beyond the physical issues.”  So naturally, all I had to do was figure it out.  I couldn’t look within because distorted brain messages originating in my childhood made it shameful to do so.  I refused to see the interconnection of body, mind, and spirit.

The Opportunity in Shift Your Perspective

When circumstances change in your life, your are presented with an opportunity to shift your perspective, and possibly transform your life.  Changes, small or big, soft or dramatic, are heaven sent gifts if you are able to see them that way.  Most importantly, they can enhance you spiritual perspective inspiring you to use your time wisely, learn to quiet your mind, open your heart, and reflect on the true purpose of life.

I’m embarrassed to tell you how long I kept fighting!  It was a very long time. But everything shifted when I stopped fighting, and started accepting and flowing.  I could have saved a huge amount of time and energy if I had stepped into the center of change instead of struggling against it.  But, I know better than to indulge in regret.

Question for Reflection:

Is there something you’re fighting against in your life?  Can you imagine seeing it in a different way?  What might it be saying to you?

Spend some time with this reflection over the week and see what emerges for you.  This is part of my occasional series of compelling questions to provide stimulus for positive change.

I’m so glad you are here!  If you liked this article, please consider subscribing for free updates by email.  With love, Sandra

Writing Prompt:  Tammy Strobel  Image:  Public Domain Net

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