Always Well Within

Calm Your Mind, Ease Your Heart, Embrace Your Inner Wisdom

Month: August 2014

How to Catch Anger Before You Lose Your Cool

Running Dogs

In my first post on transforming anger, I spoke about the detriments of anger and how – for your own well-being – it’s virtually never beneficial to act it out.  I also shared two foundational steps to help you dilute the powerful hold anger may have over you:

Step 1:  Don’t Get Mad At Yourself

When you get into a lather, don’t compound it by getting mad at yourself too.  Though you may feel a healthy regret for certain words you’ve spoken or actions you’ve taken, alway accept yourself with love and compassion.  At the same time, commit to transforming your response to anger.

Step 2:  Fully Embrace the Dangers of Anger

Fully convince yourself that acting out anger brings no good whatsoever.  That doesn’t mean you should suppress anger, be afraid of it, or that a spark of anger cannot bring important insights.  It simply means to reflect on the negative effects of anger again and again until you lose your appetite for engaging in it.

Then, you’ll have the impetus to pause and work skillfully with anger when it does arise.  You’ll be able to respond to inner distress and external anger with love, kindness, patience, and tolerance instead of spewing angry words.  This can be accomplished through the practice of reflection.

Read the full details in my first post:  Is Anger Depleting Your Happiness?

Today, we’ll go further and explore:

  • How you can intercept anger before it has you in its clutches
  • The importance of making amends

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Good Links for a Happy Life: From Joy to Compatibility

Two Sunflowers - Joy!

Welcome to my monthly (or so) collection of exceptional posts from around the web, a good book or two, and practical resources to help you live the best possible life.  Enjoy!

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Is Anger Depleting Your Happiness?

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It’s easy to be patient and loving when everyone around you acts in a kind and considerate way.  But, what happens when someone treats you unfairly or dumps their anger on you?

It’s not easy to hold your temper, is it?  Before you even know it, anger uncontrollably bursts forth.  Recently, my own patience was tested over a four-month period by a liar and a cheat.  Yes, I know that’s not her fundamental nature, but that’s how she acted out.

For the most part, I stayed calm, communicated clearly, and kept a compassionate perspective.  However, there were moments when anger burned so hot, I thought I would explode.  And, in fact, the steam did spill over onto my innocent husband once or twice, which I regret.

The whole affair showed me I have more training to do when it comes to skillfully working with anger.  So I’m redoubling my commitment to catch anger before it catches me, potentially harming myself or another.

As I dig into the art of patience, I want to share all that I know about transforming anger with you.  So let’s begin!

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17 Important Insights from My Digital Break

Ahalanui Park After Iselle

Downed Tree after Hurricane Iselle, Ahalanui Park and Warm Pond, Hawaii

My digital break and time-off turned out to be more like Hurricane Iselle’s whirlwind visit to the Hawaiin Islands than the peaceful oasis I had longed for.  Iselle left a trail of downed trees, damaged homes, and broken power lines.  That’s how my life felt at times before, during, and after her appearance.  Luckily, she spared our homestead, only bending a few banana plants.

Yes, external events often pulled me into the fray during my digital hiatus.  But I wouldn’t have missed my digital sabbatical for the world.  In between the chaos and hard work,  I also enjoyed periods with:

  • Less pressure
  • Less stress
  • More space
  • More time
  • More enjoyment
  • More connection
  • More self-reflection

Does the idea of a a month-long digital break seem impossible or insane?   I understand; that’s a very long time.  And so much of modern life revolves around our digital devices.

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37 Life-Changing Quotes

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Sometimes we need a powerful kick in the pants or a few potent words to remind us of the obvious.  You may have heard these quotes before, but are you living their truth?

That’s the daily challenge, isn’t it?  Let these quotes help you rise up.  Take just one for now and chew on it for a while, several days, even.  Turn it around in your mind again and again.  Consider how you can actually apply it to your life.  Let it catapult you into an open space where new possibilities arise.

A quote can can alter your life, but only if you let it seep in.  That’s called the lost zone of contemplation.

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