Always Well Within

Calm Your Mind, Ease Your Heart, Embrace Your Inner Wisdom

Can We Get There From Here?

The Crater

Editor’s Note:  I’m delighted to share a guest post today from the brilliant Sandi Amorim and an opportunity to receive a free spot in her new program the 100 Day Promise.

That’s what I asked myself the past few months as I explored the process of change. Because change is what most people want, and whether or not we admit it, most of us have a list of things we’d like to change about ourselves.

The problem with change isn’t that we want to change. Change is natural and inevitable; nothing in life is static.

“Every single thing changes and is changing always in this world.” – Saigyo

The problem with change is that we beat ourselves up when we fail to change in the way we envision. And we do it so often it becomes a cycle that creates the future; an endless loop of disappointment and self-recrimination.

When we really want to make a change, but feel defeated before we begin, is it possible to reach our goal?

Doubtful, as the vicious cycle is too entrenched, and the negative feelings too strong, in spite of the fact that there may still be a strong desire to change.

But a truth that isn’t often spoken is that desire itself is not enough.

Think of all the times you attempted to change. You really wanted to, didn’t you?

Think of the promises you’ve made to yourself. How many of those promises were kept? How many successful?

Instead of judging ourselves harshly for failing to change, let’s examine a few common beliefs about change that make it that much harder.

Fact or Fiction?

Fiction: It takes 21 days to change a habit.
Fact: It can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days, with the average length of time to successfully form a habit coming in at 66 days.

Fiction: All you need is a desire to change.
Fact: A desire to change is essential, but it’s only one of the steps in the process. It has to be accompanied by readiness, and a willingness to act.

Fiction: Once we take action, change should be quick and long-lasting.
Fact: Change is a process, not a one-time event. The most effective coaching or therapy takes this into consideration, and encourages the development of a sustainable practice.

Fiction: If it hasn’t worked, you don’t really want to change.
Fact: Successful change includes slipping back into old behaviors as part of its process, and considers it an opportunity to grow and move forward.

So many debilitating beliefs that keep us from being our best selves, and isn’t that what our desire for change is about?

When we’re inspired to change and make a promise to ourselves, that promise comes from a real and true intention.

In You Can Beat Stress with Mindfulness, Sandra wrote, “Mindfulness means being aware in the present moment, disentangled from thoughts or emotions about the past or future.”

Everyone has the capacity to be mindful, and the same applies to the process of change. We all have the capacity to change, and we’re not always mindful of how we create change.

An obvious but often overlooked truth is that to change a behavior, we first need to catch ourselves doing it. The problem is that we don’t often catch it, and if we do, we judge ourselves harshly for doing it, once again entangling ourselves in our thoughts, and limiting beliefs from the past.

Do the Work

The world of personal development offers a vast array of solutions for any problem, or desired change. Like many, I’ve read the books, taken the programs and workshops, and still been disappointed by the outcomes.

What happens after you’ve read the book, or come home from a weekend workshop?

The high usually dissipates within a few days, and we’re left, once again to our own devices, which almost certainly lead back to past behaviors.

What’s missing is implementation.

implement – verb

: to carry out; put into action

From 17th century Latin, implementum: to complete, satisfy, fulfill

How often do we look outside of ourselves for this experience?

We mistakenly place the responsibility for change with the book or workshop leader. Or we believe that working with a coach or therapist is the solution, as if the magic happens in the sessions. We give up our power in doing so, forgetting that transformation – true change – happens in between sessions, when we’re doing the work of implementation and taking a promise or commitment to completion.

The work of implementation is ongoing, and can sometimes seem boring, or repetitive. Instead of resisting, or using it as an excuse to quit, it’s important to develop personal practices. When we discover the right practices, routine becomes ritual, and boring turns into devotion. This is where and how we tap into our best, most resourceful states.

Whether we call it spirit, a higher power, or God, when we’re connected to this energy the work of implementation leads us to profound state changes.

When our fears are stripped away and we really see what we want for ourselves and why, we restore our capacity to make new promises and keep them. We become more willing to do the work that’s involved, and that paves the way to ‘get there from here’.

It’s challenging to do this work alone. In my experience, it’s more effective when done in community where we see ourselves in others. The compassion we generously give to others is reflected back to us, and that glimpse of our humanity helps us stay true to what we want.

When that happens, ‘getting there’ becomes much less important than the experience of the journey.

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” – Henri Bergson

A Free Spot in the 100 Day Promise

Do you have a promise you would like to make to yourself, but need support to get there from here?  Sandi is offering one free spot in her new program the 100 Day Promise to my readers – an amazing opportunity in my view.

To participate, leave a comment on this post and tell us why (or how) you’d be interested in being part of the 100 Day Promise no later than June 16th.  If you’re reading by e-mail or e-reader, click here to comment.  I’ll select one name at random to receive the free spot.

Sandi AmorinSandi Amorim is a modern day freedom fighter, wielding a sword of truth, forged in the heat of her own sacred flame.

Breaking down the walls between you and your freedom is her passion; a passion she directs with all of her ferocious heart at, and in her new program  The journey begins June 19th.

Thank you for the gift of your time and attention.  If this post touched you, please share it with others. Many thanks!



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  1. Thank you, Sandra, for hosting Sandi in your space!

    Sandi, I love your energy and message, in general, and specifically this new offering. Desire is essential to facilitate permanent change but some people even bury desire because of the *fear of judgment* and the cycle that you mention. And, as you say, they judge themselves for judging! I notice I experience peace (and also achieve my goal of the change I am embracing) when I apply gratitude for each step. That is new for me, because I tend to think of the gazillion steps I didn’t take instead of the two or three positive ones I *did*.

    I would love to participate in the 100-day promise because in the whirlwind of Spring energy, what I accidentally released was my daily walk at sunset at ocean’s edge. (In part, because I no longer live at the beach, so it logistically requires planning and driving.) I miss it and every cell in my being is begging me to integrate back into daily life. It’s the space I comfortably meet Source energy and receive in and celebrate all that nature reflects to me. I won’t show up ‘imperfectly so’ (I understand in all realms what that means) and not showing up amplifies the disconnection. It’s interesting. And I would love to experience your guidance and support.

    Thank you both for this inspiring article!

    • Dear Joy,

      It really helps to hear your experience with gratitude as a positive support for change. Each little positive step like this can make such a world of difference. We can really support and inspire one another when we share what works for us. Thank you so much for this.

      I know how much your daily walks feed you! Hoping you will connect with the water’s edge again soon.

  2. Part of my intention in this program is to restore our willingness to commit to ourselves, because as you’ve shared, it’s easy to let something drop of our radar – especially when it comes to self-care and self-love. Life is busy, and those priorities are often the first to go.

    And of course, I’d LOVE to have you in the program Joy, as I know from my experience of you online that you are someone who is willing to show up and do the work – and have fun at the same time 🙂

  3. Loved the post! It touched me…

    I would love to participate in the “100-day promise” because my life, my health, depends on changing my eating habits right now and I’m not being able to change them alone…

    The “100-day promise” seems so nice that gives me hope!

    • I completely understand! I have my own challenges with eating habits and I know it can be challenging. My heart is with you and I hope you’ll find all the support you need to make a positive change. Hope is a good!

    • I’ve found from personal experience, and with many clients, that it IS so much more challenging to do this work solo. On our own I think we rely too much on willpower and that will only get us so far – especially when it comes to our eating habits. I know this challenge well, and appreciate your desire to transform it.

  4. I really enjoyed your fact or fiction section. It is so true that it takes a long time to create long lasting habit. I also believe in the old notion that you will fail often when you are trying to form new habits. Take two steps forward one back and then repeat : D.

    I agree that it is the best to have a partner in “crime” when doing new habits. It increases motivation. I hope whoever takes your 100 day program utilizes it fully.

    • I’ve found from personal experience, and with many clients, that it IS so much more challenging to do this work solo. On our own I think we rely too much on willpower and that will only get us so far!

      • Sebastian,
        I hope the only ‘crime’ is how much fun we have while we’re doing our work! I believe that fun and laughter aid the process, and of course, doing it with great people makes a huge difference.

    • I really liked the fact or fiction section too, Sebastian. I find it empowering to have the facts.

  5. What a lovely surprise finding Sandi on Sandra’s site. I always appreciate the inspiration and wisdom I find here, thank you both for this one.

    • You’re welcome, Elle! I love Sandi’s insights into change. I’m so grateful she shared them here. And, I always love the positive energy you bring to this space.

  6. I love this: “When we discover the right practices, routine becomes ritual, and boring turns into devotion. This is where and how we tap into our best, most resourceful states.”

    I have been considering signing up for the 100-day Promise class because I sign up for classes and don’t participate fully, finish them, etc. How’s that for ironic? I need a class to help me complete a class! I actually signed up for Susan Piver’s meditation course starting Monday, and I think I may need your course, Sandi, to make sure I follow through with that one!

    • Elle,
      We hang out with the best people, don’t we?


      • Barb,
        That is so funny, and I totally get what you’re saying! I created the structures of the 100 Day Promise because I’ve needed it myself many times. It’s true that we teach what we most need to learn 😉

    • Hi Barb,

      I appreciate your dilemma. I’ve discovered recently that I have so many half-finished books from the last year! I have good reasons to read less, but this also points to all the abundance of information we have around us. So it can indeed be challenging to sink our teeth in and complete one course at a time. Good luck, Barb! I’m sure Susan Piver’s course will be dynamite.

  7. Jean Sampson

    Hi Sandi and Sandra! Yes, I always break down change into little steps that are not too scary! And having support makes it so much easier. I have a lot of technological things that I need to learn in order to get my art into galleries and just on-line in general. It feels like there is a really mean giant between me and success (even though I have good art that would sell if I could get it into the right place). So my first step was to charge the battery for my camera—-and then I found someone to help me get started using it. After that comes learning to get the photos on FB and even on a website! I am 67 and am hoping that it won’t take TOO long 🙂 Anyway, I think the 100 Day Promise Class might just hustle things along, 🙂

  8. Hi Sandi,

    Fascinating stuff, especially that it can take much longer than 21 days to change a habit! I bet that myth set a lot of people up for failure. Truly busted now 🙂

    • Like many, I too had succumbed to that 21 day belief Annabel. I’m sure I’ve said it hundreds of times in conversation with clients, but I also knew intuitively that for most of us it takes much longer. As I began researching the process of change, I was shocked to discover so many other myths that like you said, set us up for failure. That’s when I knew I had to find a new way, and that became my intention in creating the 100 Day Promise!

    • I really love having the facts too, Annabel. It’s so empowering, at least for me.

  9. Hi! Did you pick the winner yet? 🙂

  10. I checked this page so often to see if I won, I think it’s a sign I should sign up. I hope it’s not too late.

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