Girl at Sunset, Writing a New Story

Recently, my sister sent me an old newspaper clipping of women marching in front of the County Government Center holding protest signs.  I was there!  We were protesting budget cuts imposed upon the Battered Women’s Shelter.

When I look at this younger version of myself I see intensity, determination, and a caring heart, all wrapped up in a high degree of tension and neurosis.  The through line of good intention remains now, happily the tension and neurosis less so.

I am living a new story.  In one thread of my rewrite, I am deeply loved.  Although I have been loved for many years, I’ve never fully believed it.  So I always operated from a desperate place of lovelessness.  This is an orientation that cultivates constant tension and fear.  You see, if you do the slightest thing wrong, any possibility of love will fly away.

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