Peace Lily - Nonviolent Communication

“Violence in any form is a tragic expression of our unmet needs.”

– Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD

Everyone who feels pain – that means all of us – needs empathy.

I’m learning Nonviolent Communication (NVC), where you aim to look beyond the storyline into the underlying emotions and needs.  This is the basis for giving and receiving empathy in the NVC frame.

I just finished my third class.  I’m stunned by how off-track so much of my communication has been!

I’ve discovered that some of the words I use to describe feelings are not feelings at all.  For example, “pressured” is not a feeling.  It implies that someone is doing something to you.  Same with “abandoned”.

Here’s a NVC list of feelings and needs.  The lists aren’t definitive, but they are an excellent starting point to help you tune into your true feelings and needs.

I’m waking up to the fact that it takes some practice to know what I myself am genuinely feeling.  And there’s a reason for tuning into your feelings.

Distressing Feelings:  A Cover Up for Unmet Needs

I like the way my trainer describes challenging emotions as guideposts to underlying needs.  Danger!  There’s a need that’s not being met.  That’s when suffering can begin.

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