A Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Digital Overwhelm
Posted: August 21, 2011 Filed under: Conscious Blogging, Personal Transformation | Tags: Balance & Simplicity, Conscious Living, Digital Addiction, Digital Sabbatical, Emotional Mastery, Social Media Fatigue 53 Comments »
Social media fatigue! Social network fatigue! Tech overload! Digital toxicity!
Whatever you call it, a new dis-ease is cropping up all over cyberspace.
Do you feel you can’t resist the call of digital technology? You are not alone. In fact, our growing dependence on digital media is frightening.
The desperation we feel when disconnected is poignantly illustrated by the response of university students around the world – 1,000 in total - to the experience of going 24 hours without media. This incisive study – conducted by the International Center for Media & the Public Affairs (ICMPA) in partnership with the Salzburg Academy on Media & Global Change – reports:
“Students around the world repeatedly used the term ‘addiction’ to speak about their dependence on media.
“Media is my drug; without it I was lost,” said one student from the UK. “I am an addict. How could I survive 24 hours without it?” Sharing analogies and metaphors made explicit the depths of their distress and likened their reactions to feelings of a drug withdrawal. As a student from the USA noted: “I was itching, like a crackhead, because I could not use my phone.”
A student from Argentina observed: “Sometimes I felt ‘dead,‘” and a student from Slovakia simply noted: “I felt sad, lonely and depressed.”
It seems that digital media is rewiring our brain for addiction, multiplying our need for external validation a thousand-fold, and creating a feeling of panic when faced with open, disconnected space.
Am I alone in thinking that all this is not a good thing?
“All man’s difficulties are caused by his inability to sit, quietly, in a room by himself.” – Blaise Pascal
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been exploring my own sense of digital pressure. I’ve reassessed and realigned my digital engagement. This article outlines the methods I’ve used to regain a sense of digital equilibrium and free myself from digital addiction.
[Note: this is almost 4,000 words. It might take more than 5 minutes to read and absorb it.]
Mild to Moderate Digital Addiction
The internet itself is not inherently good or bad. You are not in the grasp of an evil monster viciously plotting ways to ruin the quality of your life.
But it sometimes feels that way, doesn’t it? That’s because, as the students aptly reported in the study mentioned above, there’s an element of addiction when it comes to digital media of all sorts.
According to Business Week,
“Scrolling through e-mail and punching out text messages fire up the dopamine-reward system, unleashing a pleasure-inducing hit that for an estimated 6% of Internet users has become clinically addictive, says University of Michigan psychology professor David Meyer.”
“Clinically addictive” means you have a serious problem. You are out of control and probably spend vast stretches of time plugged in. You need professional help.
But what about the rest of us with a mild to moderate level of addiction?
Our brain-based reward systems are being fired-up too just not to the “clinical” extent. We still feel the impulse, the draw, the pull. We still spend more time than we actually intend to online. We can’t quite fully understand the irresistible urge or the way we seem to go unconscious and lose hours at a time. We may even feel embarrassed or guilty to acknowledge our mild (or moderate) digital obsession.
In addition to (or maybe because of firing up the brain’s reward system), constant online engagement has the power to momentarily quell deep-seated feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and other pesky emotions. But this escapism from our fundamental discomforts only brings more suffering in the end.
Digital frenzy also feeds the minds deeply ingrained habit toward distraction, which takes us further and further away from our true self.
You Can Change Your Brain
It’s really important to know there’s nothing fundamentally “wrong” with you if you have this mild to moderate digital addiction. This is just how the brain works, but you can change it.
Often, these types of impulses, addictions, and negative behaviors are the result of deceptive brain messages. By repeatedly responding to the impulse and engaging in the corresponding action, you strengthen the brain circuits that reinforce the deceptive message, causing you to be drawn to the same old unhealthy behaviors once again. In other words, the very way the brain functions makes it difficult though not impossible to change deceptive brain messages and the harmful behaviors – like digital obsession – that ensue.
You can learn how to use your mind to veto deceptive brain messages, refocus your attention in positive ways, and work around the untrue messages. One proven method for achieving this is explained in the book You Are Not Your Brain, The 4-Step Solution for Changing Bad Habits, Ending Unhealthy Thinking, and Taking Control of Your Life by leading neurologists Jeffrey Schwartz, M. D. and Rebecca Gladding, M. D.
As you can see from the studies I cited, you are not alone. There’s an epidemic of digital addiction occurring in our world today. It’s this element of addiction that makes it so difficult to conquer digital impulses. Although you are up against some tough brain biology, it’s more than possible to change.
Our digital challenge can make us feel frustrated, guilty, and angry at ourselves. But there’s another way to look at the test. It’s an excellent opportunity to get to know and master the habits of your mind. And that’s how you can find freedom in the digital realm and every other arena of your life too.
My 8 Steps to Digital Balance
Now that we understand the global and addictive aspects of the problem, we can move into strategies for change.
There is a one-word solution to digital overwhelm: limits.
But we can only honor the limits we set successfully if we do our inner work first. So my personal journey began with probing questions and then moved on to a time review, a period of digital clean-up, and finally to planning, limit setting, and implementation.
These are the 8 steps I’ve taken to secure digital freedom. My problem is social media. Your challenge may be different, but the same principles can be adapted and applied to other forms of digital engagement.
1. Acknowledging the Problem
“Hello, my name is Sandra. I have a digital addiction.” Isn’t the first step always acknowledging the problem?
Ironically, these days people are inventing new words like “worlidays” and “workation” to justify working during vacation. They even claim to love mixing work and holiday.
But that’s what addicts do, isn’t it? Justify, minimize, and make light of their addiction. Heck, they even encourage other people to give it a try. And addictions may not seem so bad in the beginning. But they do have a tricky way of sneaking up on you.
Again, there’s nothing inherently good or bad about taking your computer or smart phone on vacation. Sometimes, it might be the intelligent choice.
But can you leave it at home?
Like the students in the study above, try unplugging for a day and see how it feels. Only you can know yourself whether there’s an element of addiction to your online engagement.
There’s no judgment intended. Each person has to decide for themselves if they are addicted and if it’s time to break free.
[By the way, there are plenty of people who take a month-long digital sabbatical and their online businesses don't collapse!]
2. What’s Your Motivation?
Now that you’ve acknowledged there’s a problem and have decided to investigate and realign, it’s time to ask revealing questions.
Create some quiet space where you can ask yourself the following questions about your basic motivation. These questions will help you get in touch with your original motivation for being online as well as the reasons why you would like to curtail your online activity.
Just take a few breaths, relax, and see what comes to mind. There are no wrong answers. It’s OK to seek enjoyment or connection, for example. We don’t have to be serious or goal oriented all the time! The aim of this exercise is just to be conscious of our motivations. Being honest with yourself is key.
Spend 10 or 15 minutes – or more if you like – with these questions. Chances are insights will continue to arise throughout the day. Keep a notebook handy so you can jot them down.
- What’s your motivation for being online (or connected)?
- What’s your motivation for spending less time online (or connected)? What would you like to accomplish or experience instead?
Knowing why we want to be online can help us keep focused on our true intention. Knowing what we want to do instead of being online can give us a positive vision. We can look to this positive vision as a way to intercede when impulses arise.
My original motivation for being online is to be of service. I want to curtail my online activity:
- To feel a sense of spaciousness in my mind and being rather than constantly stimulating the thinking part of my mind.
- To have more time for meditation and study.
- To have more time for relaxation and nourishing activities.
- To have more time for writing.
What’s your motivation? Why do you want to cutback?
3. What’s Your Challenge?
These questions will help identify your specific challenge. They will tell you if there are deceptive brain messages running your show. The first three were posed by Gwen Bell at her recent BloghHer workshop. Again, create some quiet time, relax, take a few deep breaths and go for it:
- What needs are you getting met online?
- If I’m not online, I’m afraid I’ll miss out on…
- The truth is…
- I go online to avoid…
Heh, heh, heh. By working with these questions, I realize that it’s not all about service. My needs for connection, intellectual stimulation, validation, appreciation, and support are also being met online. Knowing this empowers me to consciously allocate time for these aspects of my digital involvement or to choose alternative ways to meet these needs. I see how much I value my online friendships. They are beautiful indeed.
Having some of our needs met online is not a big problem unless we are wholly dependent on others to satisfy our needs. If we find we have become addicted to external validation (likes, pluses, comments, rising blog stats), we can take a step back and look at ways we can validate ourselves instead. One of the most powerful practices for acknowledging yourself is the practice of loving kindness. Meditation is another way to make friends with your own mind and emotions and cut the over-attachment to external validation.
“The truth is” turned out to be my favorite question. The truth is I like twitter the least. The truth is I have a mild digital addiction. The truth is I feel compelled to engage in social media to promote my blog. There was more truth and allowing myself to hear my own truths helped tremendously to shape my digital realignment.
I discovered my problem isn’t the time I spend writing blog posts or answering comments. I’ve already set limits on my blogging activities. I don’t get an overabundance of email nor do I possess the standard digital devices beyond my MacBook Pro. As shocking as it might seem, there’s no cell phone coverage where I live!
My problem – in a nutshell – is the amount of time I spend (and waste) on social media.
What’s yours?
4. How Much Time Do You Spend Connected?
Here’s where the rubber really hits the road. Do you know how much time you spend online? Some of my friends say they are afraid to find out! Is that you too?
I used the 168 Hours Time Management Spreadsheet, recommended by Gwen Bell, to find out exactly how much time I spend online and in which activities. You can download it for free as a PDF form or an Excel spreadsheet.
This is not an exercise in self-judgment. It’s an exercise in clarity. As the saying goes, “the truth will set you free.”
I tracked my time for two weeks. This exercise is so illuminating, I’m still tracking my time. I didn’t keep track of all my life activities, although you can. I only tracked my online time. The more specific you are, the more valuable the information you receive.
Here are some basic categories you could track. Craft your own categories for the best information fit.
- blog post writing
- blog post formatting
- responding to blog comments
- commenting on other blogs
- social media (or track twitter, Facebook, Google+, etc. separately)
- sending text messages
It wasn’t a pretty number…the time I spend on social media. I understand why some of you might be afraid to try this exercise. But honestly, it’s empowering to know. The truth is that social media eats up time worse than a cookie monster. Getting conscious is the only way to get back control.
5. Clearing the Digital Clutter
Digital clutter is another aspect of my personal digital overwhelm. I allow digital clutter to accumulate endlessly. I had more than 1,000 messages between my two email accounts. This caused me to waste time – again and again – searching for the pieces of information I really needed. Clutter drains your subtle energy too. Whereas, creating harmony in your environment can boost it.
I deleted or filed all 1,000 plus email messages. I created a new fold called “a reply needed”. Nothing remains in the main in-box for more than a day. My new email routine is to respond, move the message into a folder, or delete it, leaving my inbox sparkling clean.
Desktop
It’s embarrassing to admit that my entire desktop was also cluttered with files and folders. As you can see, I can be a bit of a fairy princess without my feet on the ground!
My streamline way to solve the problem was to create three new files on my desktop: personal, work, and blogging. I looked at each file and folder on the desktop, deleted it, or moved it into one of the three new homes. I also created a file called “writing in progress” that lives in my blog folder. There’s no way I could go through all the files and folders on my entire computer. That would take eons. But this new system has cleaned up my desktop and make it relatively easy to access what I need. I use the “search” feature to find the file I need.
The new look of my desktop:
Unfollow
I also radically trimmed my “following” list on twitter from almost 500 to around 200. If you are a sincere follower and I took you off my list in error, please let me know.
It took a good chunk of time to declutter, but not as long as I thought. Now I have a clean slate. It feels great.
Do you need to clean up your digital homes?
6. Employ Helpful Tech Tools and Services
As you might guess by now from my rudimentary systems, I’m tech adverse. I routinely avoid adopting new technology because I assume it will be too complicated. Clearly, this assumption has caused me a bucket load of inefficiency. I took a leap and tried out a few new applications, which by your standards are probably at the kindergarten level.
Google Reader
Kristi Hine’s article How I Organize Google Reader for Blog Commenting turned me onto the idea of trying out Google reader.
A huge proportion of those 1,000 messages in my inbox were from my blog subscriptions. I would pop over to the blog and read the article, but never delete it from my email inbox. Some people prefer email subscriptions, but with my digital clutter habit, they just don’t work for me. As I deleted hundreds of email subscription articles from my inbox, I simultaneously unsubscribed from each email subscription and resubscribed to the RSS feed in Google Reader.
Google Reader (or probably any reader) is a godsend in my eyes. I find it far more efficient. I use Google reader as my home base. It’s the first place I visit when I start my digital day. My blog reading is organized by topic into folders. When a folder is clicked, all the articles pop up as a list. You can click a title to see and read the full article in the reader). You are able to share some articles on social media directly from Google reader itself, depending upon how the blog is set up. If not, I just pop over to the blog to comment or share. Then, with a click on the Google Reader tab, I’m back at home base ready to read the next article from the list.
Twitter Tools
In her article, Twitter Tips for Bloggers, Annabel Candy mentions both TweetDeck and hootesuite as tools that can help you manage your social media management.
I don’t intend to automate all my tweets, but I am exploring TweetDeck. The application allows me to tweet from my desktop, which saves time. It also makes it possible to schedule some tweets so I don’t have to go back and forth to twitter all day long. Annabel Candy prefers Hootesuite. I haven’t tried it out yet since TweetDeck seems fine. In the end, I may not spend much time on Twitter since “the truth is” its not my favorite social media venue.
To explore more tech tools check out: My 10 Top Teach Tools for Saving Time and Increasing Productivity by Tony Teegarden.
Are there any tools you would like to explore?
7. Defining Goals and Setting Limits
Now that you’ve done the inner work, defined the problem, and cleaned the slate, your goals have probably emerged naturally. I use the SMART format to express my goals in a way that will support their success. The acronym means:
- S = specific
- M = measurable
- A = achievable
- R = realistic
- T – timebound
My inner work and time tracking showed my main problem is too much time on social media. So I reflected on how much I would like to disengage and created a reasonable strategy for accomplish the goal.
My goal is to reduce my social media time by 42% by the end October 2011.
My strategy is to limit my time on social media to four days a week. So I won’t be on social media three days a week. But, I also won’t increase my time on social media during my “on” days!
I’m implementing the strategy in phases by taking one day off a week in August; two in September; three in October. I plan to also limit the number of hours I spend on social media on my active days, but haven’t set the precise figure yet.
You can set limits by quantity or by time. I’ve set mine by time, but I also might reduce the number of social media networks I use. Here’s some examples of setting limits by quantity.
- Participating in one social media network instead of three.
- Writing two blog posts a week instead of three.
- Limiting your blog posts to 800 words or less.
It’s been a pleasure to put this strategy to work the past two weeks. On my first digital day off, I felt a little lost. “What will I do now?” I thought.
I swept the floor.
I felt the edges of space.
I felt the emptiness between activity and possibility.
I felt what it was like to inhabit my body instead of my brain.
I let my energy and my focus slide into my heart.
I rediscovered writing by hand. And the pleasure of sinking into the flow of my words, writing in waves, and letting an essay gradually evolve over a whole week.
In brief, it was lovely indeed. I look forward to merging this feeling of spaciousness into the busier period of my life, which begins again in September.
This approach – taking full days off from social media – may not work for you. You may feel you need a continuous presence. But you could reduce the amount of time you spend each day. The key is finding the goal and strategy that fits your personal vision of online balance.
What are your goals? What is your strategy?
8. Staying On Track
It’s great to make promises, but sometimes harder to keep them. I feel the clarity I’ve gain going through the inner work is making it easier to stay on track. In fact, I feel less of a pull toward social media. But it still pops up.
It’s essential to take some time to consider how you will stay on track with your strategy.
Mindfulness is the key to not going unconscious online. There are countless tools to help you practice mindfulness in relation to your digital life. I will continue charting my online time using the 168 Hours PDF. That will keep me accountable!
Gwen Bell suggests using a totem when you go on and off-line as a way to keep in mind and acknowledge what you are doing. She uses a bell. Putting on and taking off a bracelet or taking a sip of tea are other ideas offered in her workshop. Using a timer is another way.
I’ve read several positive reports about Freedom, a simple productivity application for Mac or Windows that locks you out of the internet for up to eight hours at a time. That’s a great option if you feel you need extra support.
Committing to an evaluation process – once a week or once a month, for example – is also an important element of achieving goals. It’s the formal time you set aside to review whether you’ve made made progress toward or achieved your goals. Or whether you need to shift your goals. We’re not static beings. As we change, our goals will change to. So it’s always good to take another look.
How will you stay mindful and on track?
More Resources
In addition to the resources already mentioned, these were especially helpful during my digital reassessment and realignment.
Focus by Leo Babauta
“Focus is about finding simplicity in this Age of Distraction. It’s about finding the focus you need to create, to work on what’s important, to reflect, to find peace. And it comes in two flavors: free and premium.”
Focus takes a more comprehensive look at altering your digital habits and provides an abundance of methods and strategies.
Change Yourself I Unplug, UnFriend, Unfollow, Unwind: Is that Sacrilege? Live blog of Gwen Bell’s workshop at BlogHer ’11 expands upon the questions and methods from Gwen that I shared here.
Life is Short
That’s my journey to digital freedom, my friends. So far. I expect more will unfold and additional limits will be set. For example, I look forward to a longer digital sabbatical next summer and the possibility of taking shorter ones after Christmas and during Spring break.
When I look at the photo of the water lily atop this article juxtaposed with the words “Social media fatigue! Social network fatigue! Tech overload! Digital toxicity!”, I feel a sense of cognitive and inner dissonance.
The image tells me so clearly that we weren’t put on this planet to live in digital frenzy. It might even be an act of compassion to reduce the presence of our own voice amidst the digital din. However, there’s no need to reject the digital world and all its wonders. Let’s just use it in a balanced and intelligent way.
Because life is short. There’s no time to waste on the unimportant.
“This existence of our is as transient as autumn clouds. To watch the birth and death of beings is like looking at the movements of a dance. A lifetime is like a flash of lightning in the sky. Rushing by, like a torrent down a steep mountain.”
-the Buddha
Do you feel like you have an addiction to the internet or other digital media? What are you doing to regain your peace and sanity?
Water Lily Image // Desktop Wallpaper: National Geographic
If you found this article helpful, I hope you will share the link with others. You can also connect with me on Google+ or the Always Well Within Facebook Page. With love, Sandra
Sandra,
You’ve given us a lot of great tips in this post. I’m going to clean up my desk top too. I also like the idea of subscribing to posts in a reader. I get 300-400 emails per day. It’s just overwhelming. By the time I go through them all I’m exhausted and don’t feel like doing anything else.
I really feel for you, Angela. I can’t believe you get so many emails everyday. No wonder you feel overwhelmed. I hope something here helps you to relieve the burden.
Sandra,
wow, what an epic post on online addiction and how to get rid of it. Begs the question how long you were online to get this done ;)
I am not 100% sure that there is anything inherently wrong with being online and on the social media. It doesn’t seem to be too different from reading books, driving your car, watching movies, etc.
What does alarm me is how easily we lose awareness when online. Hours pass without much recollection of them, presence can be incredibly low. This, in my mind, is the much bigger problem than how much time we spend on the internet.
Well, nonetheless, I would love to spend less time on the internets, so I’ll have another read of your barrage of good tips and see where they’ll get me.
Thanks a lot,
Jonas
Jonas,
Yes, I too had a few chuckles at the thought of writing almost 4,000 words on overwhelm! I don’t write online though. :)
I agree with you…I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with the internet or social media. It all depends on our perception and how we choose to use it.
But I do think there is a big difference between reading a book, watching a movie, or being online. Usually, you read one book at a time or watch one movie at a time. You aren’t presented – in the same way – with the possibility of reading thousands of books in a go as you are when you go on the internet and start reading blogs. There’s an addictive quality to being plugged in that does not exist in the same way with books and movies. Sure, some people are avid book readers or movie watchers, but – for the most part – it’s not the same level of addiction. Watching TV is probably more like it as it again presents multiple opportunities for distraction.
You’re right – if we are using our time consciously and using our time well, it’s not a matter of how much time we spend on the internet. I agree with you there!
Wow, that was a lengthy thought provoking ad inspiring blog. Just last night over dinner we were discussing the addictive habits that being online creates. We live in a society where we believe that our validity comes from the exterior, thereby reinforcing our need to get “connected” so as to feel we are not missing out on anything.
My motto with the net is ” Get in… get out, stay focused” It’s like when you enter a grocery store and you’re hungry. Get in, get what you came for and get out. Don’t look at any other aisles because you will get stuck longer then needed.
I will pass this post on to others to read. Very helpful.
Thank you
That’s a great motto, Carmelo. You really hit the essence, which is the way we are tending to believe – more and more, it would seem – that our validity comes from external engagement and how our fear of missing out plays into it all.
I’m glad you find the post helpful.
Those most in need for your insight and directness probably won’t read this post…because of its length. Studies I have seen show the typical heavy Internet user rarely spends more than 60 seconds on a site before clicking somewhere else for fresh stimulation……true addictive behavior.
But, those of us who read what you write on a regular basis know we must invest some time to truly benefit from your remarkable writing.
There is so much to reflect on and absorb in this morning’s post. I have a week’s worth of introspection ahead of me. This is an epic effort, Sandra.Thank you.
So true, Bob! I’m sure others are writing on this same topic in bite-sized pieces especially for the typical internet user. At least, I hope so! I could have divided this up in a zillion different parts, but I decided to present it as one “epic” guide as you say. I hope people will save it in one way or the other so they can access it as they need it. I might turn it into a downloadable PDF.
Thanks for your appreciation.
Sandra,
I’ve found that using will power to eliminate a bad habit creates a void (what do i do now feeling) and the chance for relapse is significant. I try to find a new behavior or activity that interests me and focus on that. The addiction slowly lessens and is put into a more proper or healthy perspective.
Riley
This is a skillful tip, Riley. Thank you for sharing it. It’s similar to one of the steps suggested in the You Are Not Your Brain book. Brilliant!
Sandra – interesting points you make here. You are embracing the 80-20 or 58-42 or some principle like that and soon will be twice as efficient during the time you are online.
I’ve been trying to spend less time online while preparing to start a blog. I’ve been doing a lot of writing. But like you say, there’s tons of distractions while you’re connected.
So, what’s your thoughts about creating content, blog posts offline? Like actually writing with ummm…a pen and paper? lol
And finally, what would you say to people who are treating the online world as their business? I’m not in this category but they’re allowed to spend a minimum of 50 hours a week online right:) ?
I figured the more questions I ask you, the longer I can keep you online. Totally kidding:)
Hi Vishnu,
I create all my content offline, but usually with a computer. :) However, I’ve been writing more by hand since I’ve decreased my online engagement and I enjoy it tremendously. I can often get the bare bones of a decent blog post down that way. I find the words flow very easily when I hand write. But I wouldn’t recommend it for developing and editing the post. But we’re all different. Maybe it would work for you!
Leo Babuata has an online business (Zen Habits) but he’s still lives a balanced life. Everyone has to make their own choices and own limits. Working 50+ hours is one option, and maybe it’s a workable choice in the short run – but it’s not the right choice for me. But I don’t have an online business so I shouldn’t offer any advice in that category!
You have a great sense of humor. I love it! Stay well and could luck with your blog launch.
Thanks Sandra – enjoying your blog and wisdom. I will keep you updated on my blog launch.
Sandra,
I am so happy I’m not alone with e-mails piling up, lack of organization skills, finding ways to improve, and YES, I”M AN ADDICT! Perhaps moderate, because I still sleep at night. I had to laugh about the “Freedom” for a fee concept to “lock your self” off the Internet. I also thought of the spreadsheet as a great idea, however, this would also take hours to keep track off, and I am sure I’d change my habits if I used it, so not quite representative of the truth. Thanks for the link to my “worlidays” article. You really covered this topic in fabulous detail. Thanks for making me not feel like the only one out there suffering to keep up.
Sonia,
You are not alone at all as you see from my confessions here! I’m so happy to hear that you still sleep at night. I’ve read reviews from quite a few writers using “Freedom” and they love it. The cost for the application seemed reasonable to me – like $10 unless I missed the fine print! It was quite easy for me to do the 168 hours time tracking because I only tracked my online activity. So it really wasn’t very complicated. If you wanted to give it a try, you could even just track one single activity for a week like the time you put into writing and formatting blog posts. But I understand this might not be your thing and sounds like you might cheat a little! I’m usually not good at tracking my time, but it turned out easy for me this time around.
I enjoyed your “worlidays” post tremendously. I love the spirit you are bringing to your writing these days. Good luck. I hope you find some good ways to defuse some of your overwhelm.
Hi Sandra, this is worth the 4,000 word read:) I second what you say here:
“The truth is I feel compelled to engage in social media to promote my blog.” It does start to feel like a ball and chain.
I don’t have a mobile phone ( I use my husbands when need be) so that’s not too much of a problem but Twitter and FB certainly are.
I used Leechblocker to bloch them between 9am and 2pm and at weekends:) It’s a plug-in that physically will not allow me to access them. Needs must:)
Still too much time is wasted and like you I want to write more.
The sad thing is that all the big bloggers seem to be plugged in 24 hrs a day so it feels like if I’m not I’ll never succeed. But it that’s what it takes to succeed in blogging I don’t want success there because blogging isn’t life.
Concentrating on a screen isn’t living and I want to experience everything life has to offer, all the smells, feelings and sensations that you simply cannot get online.
Thank you for mentioning my post:) That one by Kristi at Kikolani is gold too.
And here’s to our social media liberation!
Annabel,
I’m with you! I vote for living a fully dimensional life and not being glued to a computer screen all the time. I love your blog because you model an alternative way of blogging that is full of life and spirit and fun. I guess we each have to define what success means to us and to me it wouldn’t look like being plugged in 24 hours a day. I’ve never heard of Leechblocker. Sounds like a good plug-in that has the same advantages of Freedom. That’s a great idea to use it on weekends!
We’ll find our social media liberation, I’m sure of it!
Hi Sandra, I am online all the time … my blog is not live yet, but when it is, it is going to be about how to create balance in our lives. The idea came from my two year addiction to facebook games (farmville, farm town, etc!). I was playing all the time. Now that I have overcome that I find that I am online just as much researching blogging and how to get my blog off the ground! I think it should prove more productive than playing fb games, but I am going to need to guard my time knowing my addictive nature!! This is a very timely post will lots of great tips. Thank you!
Hi Lynda,
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Games are another side of social media addiction, aren’t they? I’m glad you mentioned that. Google+ just added games to its site. I guess it was inevitable.
I’m sure that you have very valuable experience and information to share with others who get caught up in online games. I’ve found blogging can be all-consuming, but I’ve gradually learned to let go more and more. I’m glad you connected with this post and will keep an eye open when it comes to getting to deep into blogging. I wish you big success with your blog though and a happy journey.
What a fabulous post! Thanks so much for all of your hard effort in researching, writing and sharing. Excellent.
I will make one comment – I’ve recently switched from Tweetdeck to Hootsuite, and WOW. The difference is unbelievable. Hootsuite is much more powerful, much more user friendly – even little things are nice, like being able to determine how often your stream updates, and the ability to link up your RSS feed to it as well to auto send out new posts. What a tool. Definitely try it out.
Thanks again, dahling! Blog on!
Thanks for your kind words, Ash! I hope it helps liberate others in one way or another from any sense of constant digital pressure.
I really appreciate your thumbs up about Hootesuite. I will give it a try! I’m sure my readers will appreciate your advice.
Have a good break. Glad you know what to do when there’s too much on your plate!
Thank you for this thought provoking and informative post. I think, like anything else, it is about balance. Like you say, the internet itself is not good or bad. It is what we do with the time that we spend on it and the time that we spend away from it. I like Carmelo’s strategy above: “Get in…get out. Stay focused.”
The online connections and opportunities have been invaluable for me, but they are only a part of the larger picture of how I live my life and how I direct my attention and intention. As you say “LIMITS!”
As you know, I spent four days completely digitally disconnected. It actually felt very freeing to me, and I did not even have the urge to get online; however, I was out of my environment…which, I think had a lot to do with it. Once home, the urge sure hit!
Debbie,
I’m so glad you had a good time away. I too find it very freeing to get off the internet for awhile. It is harder when we are back in our own environment with online access. That’s why some people, especially writers it seems, choose to use programs like Freedom or plug-ins like Leechblocker to keep them locked out of the internet for a time. It seems crazy that we need these things, but it’s just the reality of our times and our dopamine systems going wacky!
I love my online connections – like you – too so I’m not signing off entirely. I don’t think being off social media three days a week will make one iota of difference to my blog or my connections. I don’t see my other friends everyday so there’s no need to see my online friends everyday either. We’ll see how it goes as I phase in more days off social until I’m up to three. I’m looking forward to the full experiment!
Hi Sandra-
this is a very important topic – thank You for sharing.
Being a recent online biz. person I am often overwhelmed, everything feels so new, & accomplishments appear small.
Nature is my answer. Once I am re-connected to the trees, sky & sea – balance returns. This has been the case no matter where I have lived from urban (visit botanical gardens or parks) to the very remote (well, there was no internet there!)
Many addictions are resolved thru the union of self to something higher >>meditation, yoga, life.♡
keep up your positive work.
Kara,
I’m glad you have found your answer in nature. I love nature too and find it very balancing. I appreciate your suggestion that addictions can be resolves through the union of the self to something higher!
Your art is gorgeous. I wish you the best of success.
hi Sandra~
thank Y♡U
(i hope my art can bring people back to their nature connectedness)
best wishes*
Sandra-thank you. This post was needed and I read every word. There are so many great tips in here. I’m going to start with the article on Google Reader to help organize the blogs I follow. I also LOVE Gwen Bell’s idea of a totem to help establish boundaries. I have always loved how you seem to find balance and have such a level-headed approach to life. Thank you for sharing.
You’re welcome, Lori. It makes me happy to know that some of the tips here will be of help to you. I think we are all in the same boat, but we can find ways to enjoy the sail!
thank you for the step by step approach you provided
very well organized ideas
keep it up
Thanks for your kind words, Farouk!
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Just curious now after scan reading your well prepared article; might there be similarities between this currently so-called digital/social media addiction and perhaps other previous social dependencies?
Seems that some regular folks, from even before the internet became omnipresent, may have been uncomfortable while alone for a time. Did they have an ‘addiction’ to being with other people routinely — socially dependent?
Of course engaging possibly socially dependent behavior is much easier now that it can be facilitated by the internet. And a good (internet-based) article like yours may also help bring personal awareness and self-management
..
Those are good questions. Clearly, Pascal lived before our time and he noted the trouble people have being alone in a room by themselves! Naturally, social attachment may have been an issue for different people since the beginning of time. But it seems to be escalating with the advent of the internet. Thanks for your thoughts.
Hi Sandra,
What an excellent resource! I always love your writing and your gentle challenges, but this is one of those posts that I’ll definitely bookmark and return to, as I’m sure many others will as well.
Getting into blogging and social media has certainly been an interesting adventure, full of peaks and valleys. Like you, I have met so many amazing people online – people who have helped me learn and grow in leaps and bounds in just a year. But at the same time, people are people. There are still little clicks, overinflated egos, and hurt feelings going around. Plus, with so many “experts” out there, it’s easy to get swept away in a bunch of different directions never intended.
As a result, my online interaction and blogging comes and goes in waves. Sometimes I find myself super active and enjoying being “plugged in,” while other times I find it distracting, overwhelming, or just a waste of time. What I think I really need is to discover my “online rhythm” and find a balance that works for me. I’ll definitely be putting your suggestions into practice. Thank you!
Adrienne,
You are so insightful. This struck me in particular >
“There are still little clicks, overinflated egos, and hurt feelings going around. Plus, with so many “experts” out there, it’s easy to get swept away in a bunch of different directions never intended.”
Thank you for seeing things how they really are and not pretending it’s all frosting. I can see why you’ve had you’re ups and downs with it. I have too and have learned so much along the way.
An “online rhythm” sounds good. I hope you will tell us about when you find it.
Sandra – This is an epic post! It’s yet another of the many such I’m seeing recently about the need to set boundaries between the on-line experience and one’s real, first-hand experience.
It’s been especially hard for me, since I write about being in the moment and appreciating all the little wonders that surround us every day. Yet, here I am, spending all this time on line — and encouraging others to do so too — to share the message.
I agree with Kara and others above that setting personal- values- based boundaries, along with more time spent in Nature are good antidotes to the problem.
Jeffrey,
I *smile*. There is a humor to writing about being present in the moment and spending so much time online! They are not necessarily contradictory unless we cross the line. Whatever our personal boundary line is. I’m with you and Kara when it comes to soaking in the nowness of nature.
I love this post. I’m overwhelmed by all of it.
TiTi,
You and me both :)
Love and overwhelm all at the same time.
Sandra,
I’ll be back to share my views soon. Prayer calls.
Lots of love to all!
Z~
Guess I’m just dangerous when you unleash me on a keyboard. :) See you soon. I know your prayers are changing the world.
timethief ~ I did this process over the course of three weeks, at least. And it was percolating in my mind for awhile before that. It could be done over a longer period, of course. I can understand how it feels overwhelming to read it the first time through! The only way it works – at least for me – is to do one step at a time. And to just do steps that are relevant for you.
Thanks for loving the post.
I read this when you first posted it, but there was so much treasure in it, I had to wait and come back to it a second time to read it more slowly. Of course, that also gives me a chance to read the additional wisdom in the comments! I’m not a social media person, so that is not an issue for me. But the blog reading/commenting/promoting issue is mine! I have done much better in recent weeks limiting my online time. Last year, as I was getting a little anxious about these things, I “heard” an inner message saying “Live it.” I have that on a post it note on my computer. It’s a constant reminder to LIVE my life instead of thinking/writing/talking ABOUT my life.
Galen,
I’m glad you have a handle on limiting your online time and it’s working well for you! Fabuloso! I bow to the way you listen to your “inner messages.” That’s a wonderful accomplishment and the perfect way to honor yourself and your life. Right now my inner message is saying “write”…but in a balanced way.
Thanks for inspiring us.
Sandra,
What an excellent article. There is so much to read and check out here, I’m still not finished. I’m going to use the spreadsheet starting today to track all of my time. I spent three weeks in MI alone this summer. I wasn’t online much at all.
I don’t have an addiction at all to social media. I wish I did…my stats would probably be a lot better and I’d have more readers as well! LOL
In fact I feel a loss of connection with online friends because of it. What’s a gal to do???
Thank you, Tess. I love using the spreadsheet! It wakes me up and helps me stay fresh and present.
I’m happy you are able to let go of the internet and enjoy the world around you. I miss you sometimes as you aren’t as present in social media as when I first came to know you. I can see why you and all of us at times feel that loss of connection with online friends. But maybe I am hanging out in the wrong places. II think I will find you more on FB in between your adventures!
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Another thought provoking post! I am not sure that I am addicted to the internet mainly because there are often long periods of time/days when the children refuse to allow mom anywhere near it at all! Maybe I would be if they were not at home so much or if they had their own computers!! However I do receive an inordinate amount of e-mail from various lists I am subscribed to and while I rarely read most of them, just seeing them there can be a little stressful. Recently I have begun to unsubscribe as they arrive in my mail box, but only after considering whether I feel I need them in my life. Does make me wonder what ‘need’ means, and what exactly I think I’m going to miss if I don’t read them! Needless to say, your subscription is top of my list to stay!! :-)
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Hi Sandra,
I bit late to comment here but tonight it caught my eye.
This is an epic post (as someone else said) which goes well with such an epic “drama”: the cyber fatigue etc etc.
I think we could all write a full book about our personal motivations behind our online presence, our expectations, experiences and thoughts about it.
Personally I have come a long way to set myself free of the social networking fatigue/trappings.
The thing is: can you recognize the moment when you do not require more people in your life, especially virtual ones, because the people you were meant to cross paths with you have already done so? That is the moment to hit the “Delete/De-Activate” button.
Refreshingly enough more and more of us are doing it.