The perfect doctor may be elusive indeed!
What qualities do you wish for in a doctor? This is an excellent question from Sick Momma.
Having clear and specific expectations of a doctor will put you in the driver’s seat. It’s far better to sort this out early – far before you ever become sick.
I’ve seen untold numbers of allopathic doctors over the years, including a whole run of specialists. Most of them have been very kind, but I’ve had a few horrific experiences. I always bear in mind that medical doctors are limited by a system that focuses on subduing symptoms and prescribing drugs. Their job is not rooting out the true cause of illness and focusing upon healing.
I’ve also seen an array of holistic doctors including chiropractors, acupuncturists, and Tibetan and Ayurvedic physicians. In my world, the word doctor is not limited to M.D. Even natural doctors can be limited by their particular expertise and way of looking at health and illness.
Therefore, you have to be both savvy and realistic when it comes to selecting a doctor.
My Dream Doctor
Doctors are like car mechanics for the body. Some are far better than others. It pays to be selective since your body is far more important than your car. These are the qualities I look for in a doctor.
1. The Best of East and West
I far prefer a natural approach to health, preventive measures, and self-healing solutions, At the same time, it’s important to have access to modern medicine as needed.
For example, when I got hit by a car on my bike, I was delighted to be rushed to a hospital and treated by allopathic doctors.
One of my favorite doctors was a heart specialist who switched mid-career to functional medicine. He then practiced General Medicine using natural treatments like acupuncture, homeopathy, diet, and herbs. I find this mix of modern medicine and traditional holistic approaches the best.
For example, this doctor was brilliant at ordering and interpreting standard blood tests. He had a unique ability to see what most doctors missed. His first line of treatment was a natural approach. But, he did not hesitate to prescribe medical tests and prescription drugs when needed.
2. A Team of Doctors
Since it’s rare to find a doctor that embodies the best of East and West, I’ve often chosen a team approach. My current team includes three doctors: a naturopath, an acupuncturist, and a specialist in NAET, an alternative treatment for allergies and hypersensitivities to foods and inhalants.
In some states, naturopaths have exactly the same privileges as an M. D. – they can order tests, prescribe drugs, and deliver babies. Again, a terrific mix of modern and natural medicine in my eyes.
3. A Collaborative Spirit
It’s impossible for any single doctor to be fully up-to-date with all the new research occurring in most fields of medicine. I’m bright and have a great deal to contribute. If a doctor isn’t open minded, receptive, and a good listener, he or she will quickly get crossed off my list. A doctor needs to be willing to work in partnership with me and not function like an arrogant boss.
I have no need for doctors who ascribe symptoms they don’t understand to being psychogenic in origin. With access to the internet and the ability to research and often diagnose our own problems, that kind of quackery will no longer fly. I respect a doctor who is willing to say, “I don’t know.”
4. Female
While it’s not always the case, I generally find women doctors more open minded, collaborative, and empathetic.
5. Intelligent, curious, problem solver
Medicine is not a foolproof science. I want a smart doctor who is at adept in their field. One who is willing to go to the ends of the earth to piece together the puzzle.
6. Intuitive
Despite all the advances in medicine, the body is still a mystery. Intuition is often the key that unblocks a complex case.
7. Not in a Rush
We are told to prepare well for medical appointments because they are - by definition – short. Why must that be? I prefer a natural approach where doctors generally give more time and attention to each individual case.
8. Empathetic and friendly
We all deserve kindness. It’s as simple as that!
I find the worst quality in a doctor to be arrogance. Don’t put up with it for even a moment!
Even the perfect doctor cannot always diagnose your illness. The body is a beautiful mystery and every person’s life path is different. I choose to see illness as a teacher with much to offer me. Instead of relying exclusively upon a doctor, cultivating receptivity, tuning into my own body, self-care practices like Qigong, and patience have made all the difference for me.
What qualities do you wish for in a doctor?
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I guess I have been lucky in two ways: I rarely need a doctor, and I have had the same GP for 10 years. He takes as much time as required to hear me out and suggest a course of action. He listens carefully and asks enough follow up questions. Like most GPs today, he is rather quick to refer me to a specialist. But, I’d rather he not try to solve a medical problem just so can look all-knowing.
I have never dealt with a holistic approach, except through the efforts my wife and I make to stay healthy enough to avoid any doctors. We get regular checkups and pills for things like strep throat. We visit a dentist twice a year, and see an eye doctor yearly. But, by exercising and eating better I have no known problems at the moment. My wife has weaned herself off 6 pills she used to take everyday.
Our perfect doctor: one we don’t see very often.
Hi Bob,
You have been very fortunate! Thanks for sharing your preventative measures with us. I hope your current good health continues throughout your life. It’s fantastic that your wife has been able to go off medication.
I completely loved this: “Our perfect doctor: one we don’t see very often.” May it continue!
Hi Sandra, I’ve had some rather horrible experiences with doctors that I won’t get into. One book I found very helpful was Staying Well With the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense. It explained the training of doctors and strategies to make sure you get your concerns addressed. Allopathic doctors have enormous power in our society, so talking to them like an equal usually backfires, and sometimes gets you labelled crazy. Obviously, it’s best to find one who isn’t arrogant, as you point out, but in an emergency that’s not possible.
That said, my favorite current doctor is my gynecologist. She has a great sense of humor, and wants to make sure you understand everything. She doesn’t believe that stupid questions exist. She is willing to prescribe a drug, suggest a supplement, or pull out a 100 year old natural remedy.
I’ve read some studies that suggest you get the best outcome with a doctor who is similar to you in race/ethnicity, gender and age. This informs my choices when I have to pick between 2 doctors that look good.
By the way, how is the NAET going? I tried it on two occasions myself but it seemed to have no effect.
Jennifer,
You are very wise. Thanks for the tip on the book. I’ve made many mistakes speaking to doctors as though I were an equal and it wasn’t well received at all. My husband is far more skillful and is generally able to get exactly what he wants from a doctor with relative ease. I think it is very useful to educate yourself on how to speak with doctors and I’m grateful for the book recommendation. The study you cite is very interesting and another point to consider when shopping for a doctor. I’m glad I can just be myself with the doctors I’ve found without having to create a charade, but this advice is very handy for times when I need an allopathic doctor.
I think you are right about allopathic doctors having enormous power in our society and it’s a little scary. The wrong diagnosis can mess up your insurance status for years to come.
NAET is a slow process if you have a complex set of allergies or sensitivities. I see it also requires an experienced practitioner who is almost like a detective since there are so many different elements that can trigger allergies and sensitivities – not just whole foods but components in foods too and all sorts of other items. I have definitely seem some subtle changes, but not enough yet to make a definitive conclusion. I will blog about it at some point.
Thanks for your comment.
Just like Bob I have had the privilege to avoid doctors and thus don´t have that much experience of them. But I have had some experience with my daughter and also with my father where the doctors haven´t taken them seriously. In my fathers case it was even quite severe. Otherwise I pretty much agree with you Sandra about how I would like to be treated if I have to go to a doctor. I would like the holistic approach because I think there are many answers that can be found outside the medical science. Of course it is also important that the doctor have enough time and listen to the patient.
Tom, I’m so happy you haven’t had to be in contact with doctors much. I’m sorry to hear about the trouble your father and daughter have experienced. I hope you can continue with your good health indefinitely! At the same time, it’s good to know your preferences if you should ever need a consultation. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Great advice! The east/west hybrid or team approach just makes more sense. Otherwise, you’re limiting your healing to an insular perspective. Who wants that? I also think you’re dead on about female doctors. Not to knock the men (I am one, after all), but in general we seem to be more prescriptive/solve-the-problem-now types versus empathetic listeners.
My favorite line: “When I got hit by a car on my bike, I was delighted to be rushed to a hospital and treated by allopathic doctors.” True that
Thanks Travis! I like the term “east/west hybrid” approach. I agree – being open and receptive to whatever might work for you is a key to healing. It’s interesting to hear your perspective on female doctors as a male. My husband feels very comfortable with female doctors too. Thanks for stopping by. I love your “thinking spirit.”
I agree with you 100%!!! Arrogance is indeed the worst quality a doctor can have…luckily I don’t need to go to the doctor often, I mostly go to do routine check-ups, but I’ve had to deal with several doctors in the past, either for me or for my parents, and some just think you’re nuts if you tell them about holistic treatments…
I use natural remedies a lot, see my chiropractor 3-4 times a year, and regularly see an energy healer. I believe that medicine will catch up with all the new studies of quantum physics and energy work, hopefully soon.
Have you seen “The living Matrix”, and “What the bleep do we know?” – Fascinating films, worth watching!
Hi Cristina,
My approach to health is far more like yours although I too believe it’s useful to get routine checkups. I’m not adverse to using Western approaches if needed. I think it’s better not to cling to any rigid concepts, but generally alternative and energy medicine have worked best for me.
I have seen “What the bleep…” and loved it. Thanks for the recommendation for “The Living Matrix.” I don’t watch films much, but this is the type of film I really do want to see. It will be high on my list. Thanks so much.
Every thought and feeling is a step toward triggering remembering of the healing power within. External sources of information either widen the gap between what you know and believe about healing or, encourage you to accept rather than resist inner power as source energy. Every external source of information is meaningful. One is invited to awaken to remember the difference between physical symptoms and how non-physical energy is the means everything comes into apparent physical being.
Welcome Liara,
I agree with you completely – the healing power is within. No doctor or healer can actually “heal” you. They simply help to create the circumstances, the memory, to awaken the healing power within. Thanks for your thought-provoking comment.
I think the team approach you advocate is helpful. Engaging medical professionals as an informed consumer is one key. Another is paying attention to your own intuition. I believe that each of us know what is right for us and paying attention intuitively is key to uncovering that inner wisdom.
Hello Happiness and Wisdom,
Intuition is indeed key to all aspects of our life. Thanks for contributing this important thought to the conversation. Be well!
A doctor should a team mate and ally in assisting you to achieve optimum health. It may require them to do some research. It may require them to learn about and recommend some modalities which are new to them. Most of all, they MUST be open and not arrogant. Not knowing is a good thing because they have to LEARN.
I switched from an acupuncturists who was well respected and had been practicing for years to someone fresh out of school. I love her because she is green. She researches my specific issues and tries new things. If you want different results, you gotta do something different.
Like you, I have found a team approach works best. However, in healing from a pretty serious brain injury, I found Western medicine to be of absolutely no help after the initial emergency.
Debbie,
Yours is a remarkable story of healing – a testament to your own diligence and determination. It’s important to understand the limitations of Western medicine – as you point out here after the emergency – so we can get on with healing using methods that do actually work.
I loved hearing about your positive experience with a “green” acupuncturist who is really to give her all. I also had a young but skilled surgeon who was marvelous.
Thanks for bringing your experienced perspective to the discussion.