Discontentment

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Yesterday, my husband and I were talking about our obsessions.  Sometimes, it seems to be the very nature of life to be discontent.  In fact, this is precisely what the Buddha expressed in the First Noble Truth.  This “truth” is often translated as “the truth of suffering” but other translators use the word “discontent.”  Something is always just not quite right, and we are always seeking for something else.

This disconent can manifest in mega ways with our aversion to illness when it strikes, to losing our job, or having our partner move in a new direction and then it truly is full blown suffering.  Discontent can also manifest in very minor ways — not liking a particular color, the way the flowers are arranged, or the taste of a food.  It can be a constant state of never feeling quite satisfied.  We’re unable to allow ourselves to simply just be with whatever is without attachment and clinging, in other words wanting it to remain as it is, or without aversion, wanting it to be different.

This is the essence of how unhappiness and suffering manifest in our life.  The Buddha didn’t make this up — he simply observed his own mind and the minds of others to see how they typically work.  We can find lasting happiness and a sense of inner peace, but it is beyond preferences for this or that.  It’s a sense of spacious and humor that can emerge, when we recognize just how transitory all the phenomena of life really is and thus am able to let go and take life more lightly.

One ridiculous way this sense of discontent manifests in my life is never being satisfied with my blog theme, which is a tiny example of how perfectionism has been a predominant theme in my life.  The truth is that no one and no thing is ever perfect.  Even if it is for a moment, it changes again, or you see something you think is better, and have to have that. I want to leave perfectionism by the wayside.

In terms of my blog,  I know I am not a designer.  I want to focus on content not design.  For the moment, I’ve returned to Inuit Types theme, which presents content in a simple way.  I will probably mess around with it to some extent, since old habits die hard, and I will probably try new themes and maybe even old themes.  Maybe I will even go back to Bueno.  Who knows!  I’m changeable and that’s OK.  I’ll just try to soften up any sense of obsession, perfectionism, or discontent, stop treating life like a rock climbing event, and just be happy and content.

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14 thoughts on “Discontentment”

  1. Hi Sandra!

    You’re right, that happens to me too with the style of my blog. I’m never satisfied.
    In my case, I always try to transform my passion in something perfect; out of this world. Somethimes works “well I think so” ; I’m conscious that only God is perfect.
    The only thing that I believe is that I have to live creating, and giving color to my life. Thinking that maybe the things that I do today, tomorrow I will do them better. But never sticking that I will do them perfectly, or that I will be perfect; ’cause that doesn’t exist.

    Sandra congratulations, you’re article is very interesting !

    Best regards. =)

    • Viviana, Thank you for sharing your perspective. It helps to know that I am not alone with this tendency! May I say that I believe the 2010 Theme beautifully captures your zest and passion for life. Your blog looks exquisite. In particular, I like the collage you did for one post. I only know a tiny amount of Spanish so I’m not able to enjoy the full passion of your words, but I surely pick up a wonderful sense of vibrancy from the overall look and feeling you have creating. So I also offer my congratulations to you for this beauty you share with the world. Wishing you well.

  2. Sandra, on blog theme, go with Thesis; you won’t regret it. I really love it. And I am *no* designer as you can see…..although Theme is hardly design by itself, but your focus is on the right place: content content…speaking of which, what you describe here resonates clearly with me, at least n what I like to think is my old way of existing and perceiving life. While I switch back and forth sometimes, I am really happy to notice the roots of unhappiness and crush them. Great articulation of a very abstract idea into tangible form. Great content :)!

    • Farnoosh, Thanks for the theme recommendation, your blog is trés elegant! I will consider it for the future. What a wonderful outlook, the: “old way of existing and perceiving life.” That is an excellent way to see it and I love the crushing action. Thanks for the inspiration!

  3. Sandra,
    Just stumbled upon your blog space and really love and appreciate it. We do some similar things. Check out my blog if you want and would you be interested in partnering up on a few projects or ideas?

    • Justin, I’m so inspired when I see young people like you so dedicated to self awareness and self development and to helping others live more happily. Very nice blog. The intro video is very good. Can’t wait to read more about how negativity harms the brain! I’ll drop you a note at your blog about your suggesting of partnering. Stay well and I wish you success.

  4. Discontent is the minds resistance to what is. Perhaps if we learn to see the wisdom behind everything that unfolds into our life we will learn something new. :-)

  5. @Sandra Lee,
    I know whereof you speak. The restless longing for better dwells in us all to varying degrees but I’m letting me be me. It’s okay for me to test and try new things including blog themes. It’s okay for me to fuss and muss with flower arrangements and laugh at myself while doing so.

    It’s okay because I’m conscious of what I’m doing and my face is wearing the smile of the Buddha. Do you know what I mean? I can take note of my attachments and I can smile at me and then become mindful again.

    CSS editing is a learning curve and I wish you well with it. I really appreciate the soft green you have as a background color on the text widgets.

    • TimeThief, Your express this so beautifully – even being content with discontent! The humor, spacious, and playfulness you speak of is so to the point. So yes, I think I do know what you mean, though the path of playfulness till unfolds before me. You are right about CSS being a learning curve! Learning it isn’t my highest priority so I will dabble and pick up a little here and there as I go. I appreciate being able to change the background color of the widgets and glad you like the color. Thanks again for sharing your inspiration.

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